Dive Deep into Creativity: Your Ultimate Tumblr Experience Awaits
A human crewmate, Mia, held a long thin box. It seemed to have paper and plastic peices inside, based on the sound. A puzzle perhaps? A few other crewmates trailed behind them.
"Hey Bob! Wanna join us? We're playing Clue, it's a board game from earth."
Bob nodded and joined the others trailing after Mia. He had no idea what a 'board game' was, but it seemed fun. They eventually all gathered around a table in the cafeteria.
"Okay, so it's a murder mystery and we have to figure out who killed Mr. Body. We're all possible suspe-" Mia started to set up the board and explain, but was cut off by Jli'yan.
"I'm sorry to interrupt, but why do humans have a game centered on murder and distrust?"
"Cause it's fun, thrilling. Good for poker face practice." Kaya answered, shuffling cards. They then nodded towards Mia to continue explaining.
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“Okay, I know I said to take the cheapest flight we could find, but I'm starting to have… thoughts” said a spindly alien to another, both holding suitcases. Said ‘cheapest flight’ was sphere shaped and literally rolled up to the station, sounding like a speeding remote control car. “Hello hello,” said a voice with no source. “Apologies for our improper greeting, but we need to make sure you don't have any potentially deadly diseases for any of our other guests or staff” A door, slightly rounded, suddenly opened and dropped down to become a ramp. A biped in a head to toe gray spacesuit walked down and pointed a scanner at them. “Alright, you’re all good! Welcome aboard!” The biped took off their helmet to reveal a smiling human face, and gestured toward the entrance. The two spindly aliens looked at eachother, one shrugged and the other smiled tensely, then walked into the ship.
~Extra~ “Did you see the new passengers? They look like endermen, all lanky and made of void” Mia gushed. She immediately went and found Kaya after letting said new passengers in and handing them off to the hostess.
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"that's literally impossible for me to pronounce, I'm calling you Bob now." The new human, Mia, stated looking at the repair man of the ship. "Y'know, like Bob The Builder?"
The newly dubbed 'Bob' did not infact know. Their technician, another human named Kaya, seemed to find this amusing.
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Humans can be heard yelling from one of the bedrooms. An alien crewmate, nicknamed Bob, goes to check it out, fearing the worst.
"plus 4, Uno."
"you bitch!"
the humans are gathered in a circle on the ground with colorful cards. one of them notices him.
"oh hey Bob, wanna join us? we're playing Uno."
Bob shakes his head and backs out of the room carefully.
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part2
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Thinking about if other species becoming insanely obsessed with random parts of human history because it's just so VAST and there's so much. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure that other events like the first contact with the Aksani, the Barkonian renaissance, the whole federation-Eminian 'poison saliva dinner' fiasco, or the Lokirrim-Iconian-Risian trading war were all very interesting.
But I can't help but imagine the endless hilarity that involves something like a group of Andorian teens all being like:
"Did you know that there used to be other types of human sub-species living on earth billions and billions of years ago? Yeah! they were called like knee-an-do-thals and erik-toss or something" "Really? So, it was like the human version of Aenar on their planet?" "I guess so yeah" "So, what happened to them?" "The ancient humans killed them all." "..." "..."
"...maybe...on second thought, we should help Anika with her biology project after all."
Idea that once human movies and tv series becomes accessible to the rest of the universe they immediately have to get re-called and re-regulated by the federation.
Like, the Andorians thought they had sexy romance shows, but then the terrans come along and now you've got angry zhavey's, shreya's, charan's, and thavan's calling in concerned on what their teenagers are watching.
And this especially applies to horror movies, Klingon space gets access to some classics and figure they'll sit around and laugh at the silly human horror. Cut to one Texas Chainsaw Massacre marathon later and now some human captain's are reporting that the Klingons are looking at them weirdly, like they almost seem... nervous of them?
Same thing goes for when Vulcans begin to approach human crewmates to ask how they manage to keep their children away from "The animated blue kanine and the female pink sus scrofa domesticus?"
Ferenginar just has a flatout ban against any and all talent/contest shows. To win profit just for having a talent? For showing good teamwork? Without any cheating or lying? Disgraceful media. (Although they would appreciate the trick of adding a sob backstory to gain more sympathy votes)
So there has been a bit of “what if humans were the weird ones?” going around tumblr at the moment and Earth Day got me thinking. Earth is a wonky place, the axis tilts, the orbit wobbles, and the ground spews molten rock for goodness sakes. What if what makes humans weird is just our capacity to survive? What if all the other life bearing planets are these mild, Mediterranean climates with no seasons, no tectonic plates, and no intense weather?
What if several species (including humans) land on a world and the humans are all “SCORE! Earth like world! Let’s get exploring before we get out competed!” And the planet starts offing the other aliens right and left, electric storms, hypothermia, tornadoes and the humans are just … there… counting seconds between flashes, having snowball fights, and just surviving.
Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away, there was a highly advanced alien race known as the Zorons. They were a peaceful species that had developed technology far beyond anything ever seen before. They had explored countless planets and had made contact with many different civilizations throughout the galaxy.
One day, while conducting a routine survey of a distant planet, the Zorons stumbled upon a strange new species that they had never encountered before: humans. At first, the Zorons were fascinated by these creatures. They watched as the humans built towering structures, harnessed the power of electricity, and traveled across vast distances using machines that they had created.
But as the Zorons observed the humans more closely, they began to notice something strange. Despite their relatively primitive technology, the humans seemed to possess an almost reckless sense of daring and adventure. They explored dangerous environments, took risks that seemed to defy all logic, and even engaged in violent conflicts with one another.
As the Zorons continued to study the humans, they came to a startling realization: humans were like space orcs.
The Zorons had heard stories from other alien races about space orcs, a legendary species known for their incredible physical strength, unbreakable will, and ruthless nature. Space orcs were said to be fearless warriors who would charge headfirst into battle, no matter the odds. They were rumored to possess a near-indestructible biology that allowed them to survive even the harshest environments.
The more the Zorons observed humans, the more convinced they became that these creatures were, in fact, the space orcs of their own galaxy. Humans possessed the same reckless courage, the same almost supernatural resilience, and the same instinct for violence and conflict as the legendary space orcs.
Despite their initial fascination with humans, the Zorons began to feel a sense of unease around these creatures. They realized that humans were not to be trifled with, that they were capable of almost anything, and that they posed a significant threat to the delicate balance of the galaxy.
And so, the Zorons decided to keep their distance from humans, to observe them from afar, and to hope that they would never have to face the full force of humanity's incredible power and ferocity. For the Zorons knew that humans were not to be underestimated, and that they truly were the space orcs of the galaxy.
(i did not write this, this text is generated)
Alien: why is Rehaan vibrating his legs so much? It's been an hour and he's still doing it. Isn't he exhausted?
Alex: nah, he has ADD, but I'm not sure why he moves a lot. He has told me it's fun and it makes him concentrate better, so why not let him
Alien: add? Add WHAT? CHEESE?
Human: banana
Alien: pardon
Human banana.
Alien: why did you say that randomly?
Human: banana.
Alien: ???
Lmfaoo i tend to say random words when i wake up or when I'm alone
It's fun
Got any ideas? Because everything i come up with is already written down 🧍
First of all I'm just gonna thank @uhm24 for writing about Aliens getting to know people who have different sexualities and genders than other people :)
But i got another request, since I'm not a writer, and english isn't my first language :')
Anyone can volunteer C:
(I feel like I'm asking for too much since i did ask for a request yesterday, but let's not rush, I'll be patient.)
2nd Request:
- Aliens finding out two of the humans in their ship are trans by hearing two other humans talking shit behind their back. They approach them, interested and ask what them being a "trans" is (if you aren't trans, and you think of writing this, please do not write the t slur since the word is offensive to the trans community.)
I wish you good luck if you've thought of writing this!
I love Humans are wierd, Humans are orcs, ect. I have read about humans breaking bones, and walking around as if nothing happened, or that some humans give birth.
But what i really really wanna read about, is some humans liking the same gender, all genders, or none of them at all, and having another gender identity than their sex assigned at birth, and more. And the aliens are so confused, but supportive because they realise they get a lot of hate and discrimination from some of the other humans in the spaceship
Istg if someone wrote about this
I will marry you /j
this text was a reply to this post but i wanted to post it separately!
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The thing about humans is that they do not consider themselves a hive mind. However, by the mosr acceptable definitions, they are one. Humans must be kept together, either physically or virtually with each other. They must know about their “news”, about “what is happening”. And, much to the Greeder’s fears, they must know about “ideas”.
Those things are like one of the Great Universal Plagues to a Greeder! No ideas shall pass to humans. They have developed guides for that, even. “How to Contain an Earthling”. The authors of such guides studied Human History as much as they could, learning with their ancestors on the art of lies and dismay.
What Greeders failed to understand is that they would have been the richest of the Galaxy if they truly knew how to contain an earthling.
At first, aliens didn’t know what safe work conditions were for the species that punched each other for sport. Most of the ships then developed new safety measures, following human guidance. Some did not.
Greeders are stubborn. They took one look at the week’s newly discovered “horrific beast beyond imagination” and did not think about said beast’s wrath. They heard the tales of the humans working together, singing, even, while fixing dangerous things using simple safety measures, and thought they could be easily fooled. “Of course we have safe work conditions”, they lied to some of them, never bothering to be more than looks.
There are three universal rules between species. Never assume the other is like you, always ask before doing something you never did before, and don’t mess with a member of a hive mind
But the foolish small beasts that behaved like little gremlins, those armed with weird and gross “hands” capable of doing anything they wanted, those who would jump deep into engines and cover themselves with dirt to do their job, never saw themselves as a hive mind, and everyone else was too terrified of what a hive mind made of terrifying horrors buried within Earth itself would behave like.
But when the first humans started to be hurt and the Greeders did everything they could to pretend they did not saw it, the historians of the Earthly Hive remembered. They told the engineers. The healers were angry. The idea appeared.
The idea spread.
The idea took over.
They demanded sympathy from the Greeders, knowing well it would be denied.
They left the ships. The idea was pulsing, much like a heart.
They did not have to re-remember how to fight.
The Earthly Hive appeared as a small group, less than ten thousand, agrouped in a small multitude of a hundred ships. The machines buzzed, identical to the ones they had to give their blood to fix.
They sang in unison. They made noise. And, at the end of the act, they
sent
a
(((small)))
message
written
in
holograms.
“Give us safety”, shown in yellow, as images flashed in the background. “Or you will be the next”.
The invention of the guillotine was something that fascinated other alien workers.
The Greeders were too terrified to look at it a second time.
no >:3
Aliens have such different gender and biology from humans that none of them menstruate. So imagine this.
Alien: Human Steve, why did I find blood on the lavatory floor?
Steve: Oh, that's just Karen.
Alien: What??
Steve: Human females bleed from their reproductive organs once every month for five to seven days.
Alien: wHAT?!
Steve, calmly: Yeah, they can lose enough blood in a lifetime to kill ten grown men.
Alien: WHaT ?!?!
Karen, walking in: Steve, I need A FUCKING break. And chocolate. And a heating pad. I'll be in my sleeping quarters. Also, I threw up.
Steve: Okay, take the day off, I'll bring you your stuff in a bit.
Alien: *jots down in notebook* Human females are indestructible and fearsome. Regard them with respect.
EDIT: I swear, if this is the thing that makes me Tumblr famous, I’m gonna blow a braincell. And I don’t have many of those left, so…
Edit 2: Guys. Guys. What?! My grumpy menstrual rant is in no way worthy of being tumblr famous. *is mildly to severely confused/thankful/bumfuddled*
Edit 3: Why is this still getting notes wtf
Edit 4: STOP REBLOGING THISSSSSS