Star Trek Ds9 - Blog Posts

Hello doomed star trek yuri nation

Wondering what a interaction between transfem Odo and Quark would be like. Just one day Odo switches up her look and walks into the bar ready to interrogate like usual, only to be mistakenly hit on by Quark from behind. They stare at each other in realization for like 30 seconds of silence. Odo continues her investigation, but she has to deal with Quark's flustered stuttering and him avoiding looking at Odo for the entire conversation.

Something I picked up on while rewatching “Little Green Men” S4:E7

When the humans go to greet the Ferengi and we see that their UT’s aren’t working and they all do the head bangy thing Rom and Nog only do it to one side of their head with one hand while Quark uses both hands and hits both sides of his head/both his ears

And when we turn and see the humans copying them all the men copy Rom and Nog and only use one hand, but the lady copy’s Quark and uses both her hands, and only later when Quark switches to use just one hand does she follow and they all use one hand.

Again later in the episode the nurse and her fiancée have a conversation about the three of them possibly being family. They correctly identify Rom and Nog as being father and son but then she points out that Quark could be the mother to which he immediately agrees, switches pronouns, and calls Quark out saying, “If she is the mother, she’s quite a shrew.”

Idk if I had a genuine point to all this aside from a shout out to this legend of a couple and specifically nurse Garland for recognizing the pure feminine energy radiating off of Quark at all times.

Side note: Love that she absolutely clocks Quark's “My hero” moment towards Odo with that look on her face, meanwhile her fiancé is just freaking out trying to wrap his mind around whatever the hell Odo is in the background

First Lady Weyoun of Cardassia Headcanons Because I Can't Get Him Out of My Head

Very Stylish, always keeps up to date with the latest fashion trends and tries his best to get Damar to wear some designer

Continuing with that line of thinking, he attends a lot of fashion shows, art galleries, concerts and really anything artsy. Small or big he's gonna be there to support the artists.

Sets up charity funds for struggling artists, musicians, designers etc. and uses his legal powers to meet his favourite performers and fanboy out

It’s the worst kept secret on Cardassia that Weyoun writes all of Damar’s diplomatic speeches for him

Pretty much always attends any formal or government dinner and practically drags a reluctant Damar along for the reason of “keeping the legate's good public image”

Damar relents and goes but only because he knows that it was technically his fault that the photo of them making out behind the bar at the last dinner blew up

Probably released his own makeup brand that probably bombed at some point

A PRO at dodging unwanted QNA questions, I mean it was literally his job since birth

On particularly stressful days for Damar, Weyoun will let him lie-down and use his soft fluffy tail as a head rest/pillow

Similarly, if Damar notices Weyoun overworking himself he’ll give him a scratch behind his ears which usually relaxes him pretty quickly

Thinking about if other species becoming insanely obsessed with random parts of human history because it's just so VAST and there's so much. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure that other events like the first contact with the Aksani, the Barkonian renaissance, the whole federation-Eminian 'poison saliva dinner' fiasco, or the Lokirrim-Iconian-Risian trading war were all very interesting.

But I can't help but imagine the endless hilarity that involves something like a group of Andorian teens all being like:

"Did you know that there used to be other types of human sub-species living on earth billions and billions of years ago? Yeah! they were called like knee-an-do-thals and erik-toss or something" "Really? So, it was like the human version of Aenar on their planet?" "I guess so yeah" "So, what happened to them?" "The ancient humans killed them all." "..." "..."

"...maybe...on second thought, we should help Anika with her biology project after all."

If you really think about it Julian’s the one, who has it easy if they ever get married. He won't have to go to Garak’s parents asking for permission to marry their son, and technically Garak doesn’t either, but Garak does have the challenge of trying to convince everyone in ops to let him marry their doctor. Imagine having to go on a bunch of side quests to get each of your partner's coworkers blessing and even after all that The Benjamin Sisko is your final boss. Tougher done than said.

Quarks be like:

NON-freaks dni. This is a freaks only zone

Based on these wonderful calculations done here I’ve started translating every transaction of latinum mentioned in the show and so I’m re-watching S6: E12 “Who Mourns For Morn?” And they mention that Morn’s net worth is 1000 bricks and so I calculated and that translates to-

$80,000,000 USD / $128,022,532 AUD!?

MORN!? HELLO!?!?

Concept of Julian Bashir on Cardassia working in hospitals and constantly having like 12 Cardassian babies hanging off of him for the heat that he radiates. Then he goes to pick up dinner after work from a local restaurant and the cashier’s hand lingers when handing him back his food and just kinda holds his hand for a long time marvelling at his warmth. Then he goes home to his lizard man husband who attaches himself like an invasive species as they lie in bed to fall asleep together. Julian Bashir is content.

I happen to have the headcanon that Quark is actually a really good singer, but he just doesn't do it out in the open a lot. Like Rom knows about because they grew up together and heard him all the time, Ishka once told Quark that he could "earn a living worth of latinum" by actually pursuing it as a career, Nog knows cause Quark used to sing him lullaby's when he was younger, and Jadzia probably also knows about it because she caught Quark humming and singing to himself in the bar's storeroom one day.

Anyway, all this say that when Odo walks into Quarks on an extremely crowded and lively night to find a drunk Jadzia goading various members of the crew into karaoke he stays and sits down to watch only to be finds himself complete dumbstruck when an equally tipsy Quark starts singing a slow love song in an absolutely enchanting voice. Halfway through the song they lock eyes across the room right as a particularly lovey-dovey lyric comes up. Odo doesn't dare look away from the magnetic pull of Quark's hooded eyes and enlarged pupils looking straight at him. As the soft music swells all around them the room is suddenly empty, nobody but them between these walls and the vast expanse of space and stars. Odo starts to feel himself melt and finds that it's getting harder and harder to maintain his form the longer he watches Quark and the blush filling his cheeks and his tongue dash out to wet his lips and-

The moment is over as quick as it started.

The song ends, everyone claps and cheers, the night eventually ends and compliments are thrown left and right at Quark's singing abilities.

Meanwhile Odo's trying to figure out a way to simultaneously tell Quark he's never appeared more beautiful while still somehow insulting and degrading him without actually letting him know that Odo cares.

I choose to believe that S4E12 "Crossfire" was an entire episode about Odo learning to move on from Kira and fully accept his homosexual relationship with Quark. I mean that final soft scene between them....c'mon already man

Who was gonna tell me that Quark quite literally propositioned himself to Odo during their first ever meeting. I’m watching S2E8: Necessary Evil and by god that Ferengi is dickmitized

“Listen, I feel you and I…we’ve gotten off to a bad start here. Let me make it up to you. You need anything? A little Ginger tea? No, you don’t drink. Um…chocolate? Maybe, uh, companionship?”

Word for word I swear I’ve heard Quark make that same offer a million times to other women in his bar, king of using his body to get out of bad situations

Okay I’m asking the real questions here:

Crazy how in the "Facets" episode they made Quark take on the motherly feminine host and Odo got Curzon the notoriously masc womanizer who later actually A. Grabs Quark's genitals B. Lip kisses him and C. Flusters Quark to the point he loses his balance and goes non-verbal. Wonder what they were trying to imply here. Hmmm.

Love constantly witnessing new ds9 fans have the revelation that quark's outfits are actually fire and deserve to be studied and appreciated like fine art

So, since its canon that Odo reads shitty romance novels do you think that one day like Julian recommends him pride & prejudice and he goes and reads it. Has a realization. And then doesn't interact with Quark for like a week. shhhh leave him alone let the goo man figure out the complex enemies to lover's relationship he's in with The Worst Option Possible™

You guys ever think that Odo sometimes gets cuteness aggression with Quark? Like he's just "detaining" him one day and wraps his goo-appendage arms around Quark and squeezes him so tight that Quark literally cannot breathe. It's okay though because Quark just thinks that one of two things are happening, 1. Odo's finally killing him for real this time or 2. Odo's just really weird and bad at BDSM

One of my personal favourite quodo headcanons is that when news gets around ds9 that they’re finally together-together as in, an actual real couple, everyone assumes that they have already boned like a bajillion times

Everyone on the station is like “Those two r a couple? Oh yeah, that goo man who has so much repressed energy that it comes out as an intense obsession for a little goblin sex freak who runs the bar and said goblin sex freak? They must have the kinkiest of sex, doing all types of weird roleplays and shit in the bedroom.”

And then by pure accident like a full year into their relationship Quark lets it slip to Jadzia at one of their bestie sleepovers that he and Odo have never done anything beyond making out and Dax is like “😦” and then she lets it slip to a bunch of other people and their all like “😦”

I think the formula for my favourite ships are Person A whose pretty chill guy about everything and is just going about life and Person B is just an obsessive freak who has probably a list of the full names and ages of all of Person A's ex-partners

Quodo fic idea where Odo’s trying to figure out the best way to propose to Quark and he’s getting advice from everyone but ultimately he decides to just search up Ferengi proposal customs. So, in his research he finds out that Ferengi men often purchase the most valuable amount of substance they can find and offer it to the woman (Or her Father), if it’s not a high enough amount the female can reject and ridicule the male. Worried that he might be ridiculed by Quark, Odo searches for weeks to find the most expensive type of substance he can find and makes sure to find it lawfully. So eventually he finds something that seems to be highly valuable and when he actually proposes to Quark with it he gets a bit nervous because Quark's gone silent and is now just staring at the padd in front of him which shows the amount Odo’s collected and Odo’s worried that he’s messed it up and that it’s really not enough or Quark wouldn’t want to be proposed to like this and this whole idea was stupid and a mess and Quark’s just gearing up to publicly shame him or-

Meanwhile, cut to Quark who has never been more flustered in his life. His brain has short-circuited, his palms are wet, his heart is pounding, his pants are tight, and most of all he’s just stunned. Stunned that Odo - who owns almost nothing and has repeatedly stated how idiotic solids are with material possessions they hold such worth and insults Quark about his love for profit - of all people, has just proposed and offered Quark a fortune of money and profit that could rival the Grand Nagus!?

I got this idea from a random fic I read somewhere, but I think it’s a really funny to imagine that in Star trek when humans describe things their pets do, their alien buddies just think that this is another human doing these things because they don’t know earth animals. And like honestly humans have done weirder.

Does anyone else ever think about Garak cold-blooded-reptile-lizard-man-thing and Bashir warm-blooded-human-who-runs-like-a-fucking-furnace cuddling together at night. Cause I do. A lot.

I have no idea whatsoever if Vulcans would be able to actually smell pheromones, I just like the idea that some human crew members decide to see if those pheromone perfume things really work and so they put some on and obviously can’t smell anything so it’s a disappointment, but they still decide to leave it on for the day. Flash cut to the Vulcan crew members on board freaking the fuck out thinking they’re going into an early and unexpected Pon Farr because they want to absolutely devour every human that passes by them.

I have my own personal headcanon that in the star trek universe Human musicals are EXTREMELY popular amongst the stars and across all galaxy's. Cause sure, other aliens have singing and dancing and music of all sorts but everyone quickly agrees that there is nothing like a human musical. It baffles a few Ferengi's ears when hoo-mans sing in such a high frequency for such a long time that shouldn't even be possible with their lung size! Vulcan's can appreciate the synchrony of their dancing and consider it a very pleasing experience (Their incredibly impressed by it and it becomes a frequent topic of conversation). Cardassian's admire the way the characters sing/talk to the audience and reveal what their feeling but not to the other characters, it's fun to watch secrets unfold or explode to someone's face as chaotic antics happen all around them (Their favorites tend to be Stephan Sondheim musicals). Surprisingly, even Klingons aren't immune to the talent of human musical theatre, on any given night you'll see a large group of Klingons sitting around a table ready for an opera show and tales from soprano's receiving numerous thanks and glory be's! from burly Klingons after a show.

I was today years old when I found out that Alexander Siddig and Nana Visitor were once married and had a kid together.

Funniest thing is that the two actors actually married in the ds9 cast never actually were canonically together because their characters were simply too butch and too twink to have chemistry

Idea that once human movies and tv series becomes accessible to the rest of the universe they immediately have to get re-called and re-regulated by the federation.

Like, the Andorians thought they had sexy romance shows, but then the terrans come along and now you've got angry zhavey's, shreya's, charan's, and thavan's calling in concerned on what their teenagers are watching.

And this especially applies to horror movies, Klingon space gets access to some classics and figure they'll sit around and laugh at the silly human horror. Cut to one Texas Chainsaw Massacre marathon later and now some human captain's are reporting that the Klingons are looking at them weirdly, like they almost seem... nervous of them?

Same thing goes for when Vulcans begin to approach human crewmates to ask how they manage to keep their children away from "The animated blue kanine and the female pink sus scrofa domesticus?"

Ferenginar just has a flatout ban against any and all talent/contest shows. To win profit just for having a talent? For showing good teamwork? Without any cheating or lying? Disgraceful media. (Although they would appreciate the trick of adding a sob backstory to gain more sympathy votes)

I think the reason no-one on DS9 ever tried to make Odo and Quark get along is because the sheer amount of chaos power that they would wield if they'd got along with one another would bring the station to a fiery and destructive end.

I mean you all saw that little moment at the end One Little Ship (S6E14) where Odo was messing with Bashir and O'Brien about their height and Quark just sensed his mischievous energy from across the bar and saddled up next to him to join along the fun and they giggled together about it, those two would ruin countless lives.

I’m begging everyone to go back and re-visit the s1e15 “If Wishes Were Horses” on ds9 because oh my god-

Julian’s whole part in the episode is his crush on Jadzia but there’s a scene early on at like 10 minutes where everyone’s imaginations come to life and the whole scene is with him and imaginary Jadzia waking him up and kissing him and I cannot listen to the way he’s whining and whimpering into the kiss without imagining a garashir situation swap where Garak’s the one who runs his hands through Julian’s hair and kisses him non-stop and being all seductive and eventually pulling Julian down onto the bed-

And then later the real Garak seeing the imaginary Garak and Julian being very flustered meanwhile he’s just a smug old lizard.

Can we talk about how in S3E7 Civil Defense there was literally no reason for Quark to stay with Odo. “This is the safest place on the whole station, I’m staying right here.” bitch you just wanna be with your boyfriend stfu

And omg later in another scene when Odo takes Quark’s phaser away because he might hurt himself and then they have their little heart to heart and Odo tells Quark he’s the most devious Ferengi he’s ever met, and Quark goes genuine for a moment: “Thank you Odo…. that means a lot to me.” And then immediately follows that up by leaning closer to him and asking all softly with puppy dog eyes: “Now, ...Can I have my phaser back?” BRO HE’S ALMOST WHIMPERING THAT LINE OUT ISTG-

Don't get me wrong, Odo totally loves the cat and mouse game he and Quark have, loves that he and Quark get to play around as Lawful officer and Mischievous Criminal. However, I do think that if he ever ended up in some alternate reality where Quark was a goody-two shoes who listens to Odo's rules and stays out of trouble it would for sure be Odo's personal wet-dream :)