Alive - Blog Posts

*crying*

morning

more Harvey, bc my brain is only capable of focusing on like three things at any given time

imagining he works out with the ladies at Pierre's place and the farmer is peeking around the corner like 😳

Being the eldest daughter in a conservative family is literally equivalent to being a woman accused of witchcraft in 1693 Salem and then subsequently burned alive.

#art #alive #artist #nature #faerie #fairy #plantsofinstagram #plants #flowers #tattoo #meadow#meditation #lake #onewithnature #universe #calmn #mountains #grapes #days #random #tuesday #evening #sketchbook #sketch #pencildrawing #blackandwhite #chaoticenergy https://www.instagram.com/p/B20DMxJg2Ci/?igshid=1s69qaca5i3fr

#art #inspiration #trippyart #creative #morningmotivation #creativity #artist #mountains ##nature #plantsofinstagram #hikingadventures #hiking #clouds #sky #bluesky #ocean #blue #night #photography #photo #landscapephotography #landscape #alive #world #outside https://www.instagram.com/p/Bx9TJUKgOQP/?igshid=1uic6cn30ifvb

How long do I sit and wait around

I am suffocating in all this slowness

I am tired of acting like I enjoy the day

I can't anymore

I need adventures and uneaseness

I need to be under a tree unpacking a travel bag

searching for that quick bite before I resume

I need to be under the stars and counting the big ones

I can't sit at a window and look at the passing cars

I can't sit around and dance to another melody

I need to be out in the wilderness and battling for breath

I need to know that I am alive and here

And not just another painting on the wall

in the living room that's beige.

A big, big stone fall and break my crown.

University of Edinburgh 2025, Jan

my heart is fluent in a tongue my mind can't translate. so i lay still on my bed, experiencing a wildness that can breathe me back to life from beyond my grave. tonight i believe in spirits. maybe i am a ghost when i fall asleep; anything is possible this very moment because it is nothing like the one it succeeds nor like the one it will precede. the future hadn't been created when i wrote the last sentence and now i am in it. Ah, to be alive.

PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET, GUESS WHAT?!

I'm still alive!

I'm still alive.

*boom*

okay the phone It’s actually getting fixed i had to show my mom because the screen was black lmao no shit im alive

My moots: *gone for 2 seconds*

me: *CHAOS*

they had mercy on My stupid ahh phonecase

Being Alive

So ruthlessly cold and empty,

These bedsheets mocking my sorrow.

Hearing every tick of the clock,

Reluctantly gazing at the mirror,

Seeing nothing but a wasted potential.

Strong is the urge to feel the life drain out of me,

Yet the dreams keep me awake.

All the thrill left to be experienced,

And all the cities left to be loved,

Leaves me wanting to see the life play out.

Setting the regrets on fire,

A toast to the feeling of being alive.

Let's get out and wander to a new country,

Dancing to the melodies we can't revive,

Singing the songs one never hears again in life.

Falling in love with strangers you see on the train

Knowing you'll never see them again.

Loving the cafes you know you'll never forget,

Turning the pages of a mysterious book,

In hurry, whose title you'll forget.

I radiate light

I am sunshine

So please stop trying to tell me

That I need you

When I surely know

You always dimmed my light

So others wouldn’t see my glory

~ excerpts of me moving on ~

She fucked up

There’s this girl. She just thought of your smile and the way your hand runs through your hair that has gotten way too long again.

And she cuddles up in bed and wishes you would be next to her, snoring, but unintentionally pullin her closer to your chest.

There’s this girl. She remembers every minute you two have spent together and she gets sad whenever you are gone for too long.

And she sits next to her friends who are making fun of her for falling for a guy that isn’t even her type.

There’s this girl. She thinks a lot about her Ex lately, but only because she’s afraid that you might turn out to be the same as him.

And she tells herself that she isn’t in love.

And she keeps repeating that she does not want to be in a relationship with you.

And she is writing about you, hoping it’ll clear her mind.

And she hates remembering every time your friends talk about the girls you’ve had, even since you two have been spending so much time together.

And she keeps telling herself that you two are not in a relationship.

And she acts like she doesn’t care.

And she is trying to look at other guys as well, but somehow it does not work for her the way it seems to do for you.

And she keeps a smile on her face.

And she keeps laughing.

And she keeps coming back to you.

Tere’s this girl. She’s sad, she’s hurting, she’s breaking. But out of habit, she keeps the canvas up.

Don’t keep hurting her. Don’t give her forehead kisses when you’re doing the same to any other girl you’ll meet on the weekends.

Don’t tell her how much she means to you when you’ll go out partying knowing she’ll be home alone waiting for your call that you’ve made it home safe.

Don’t keep hurting her. She does not deserve that. She deserves better. And if you know that there are guys out there that could make her happier than you because they’d make an effort and try, let her go.

Don’t keep that girl for yourself if you’re not planning to think about her smile whenever you need comfort.

There’s this girl. She’s typing this. She’s crying.

She fucked up.

Why am I like this

Sometimes I open tumblr because I feel like writing. And then I sit and stare at the blank canvas that longs to be filled by my thoughts but I just...can’t. I can’t. And it makes me angry. I want to write something, I need to write something, but trying to pin down the words that are constantly circling around my head makes me realize that I don’t have a f*vking clue.

I don’t know

Anything

I’m lost in my own mind and the longer I stare at the letters in front of me the harder it gets to come back up and breathe fresh air.

I don’t know

Anything

At all

And I can’t help but hate the words that make it onto the pages because they are not what I want them to be and they make me believe things that aren’t there and

Damn

I really don’t know

Anything

At all

Or at least that’s what this post makes me believe.

Today was a beautiful day

Today was a beautiful day. The sun was shining and I listened to my favorite music all day long. My thoughts were light and positive and my face showed a constant little smile. I was happy. After being down for such a long time today felt like a dream. Ups and downs are normal, but once you’ve experienced a very long Low, every little Up will bring joy even though you may have felt like you’ll be stuck in the depth of your own mind forever. I’ll tell you that you can handle it. Believe me it’ll be worth it. Try fighting for every single Up your life might bring you.

Today was a beautiful day and I’m pretty sure more will follow.

I desired to learn so many things

Like trusting, instead of searching affection in your night sky eyes

Like loving, instead of rushing only to control and not to lose

Like healing, instead of hurting myself and everyone I feel around

Like being thankful, instead of sorry for all the words which leave my mouth

Like living, instead of dying with every day I waste for nothing

Like living, like living like living time as easy as you do

Why do you feel so alive?

numbness became a second skin my brain seems quiet yet too loud in its silence and wherever I am there is nowhere to be my heart is trapped inside of my mind thoughts float  heavy through my veins exchange my blood with what is left to survive the night the day the losing in between