februarytales

Latest Posts by februarytales

I love the morning sun's kisses

And the sweet smelling flowers.

I love the way the rain dances on the lake

And the song of the wind.

I love the tenderness of a daffodil

And the depth of the vast blue sea.

I love the way the mountains stand guard

And the calm reassurance of the flowing river.

I love the little frog under the big shroom

And the cute little dance of a squirrel.

I love the slowness of the setting sun

And the gentleness of the moon's light.

I think I am falling in love with this life

And it's warm embrace.

Ohh to be surrounded by all this beauty.

Ohh to be me.

How long do I sit and wait around

I am suffocating in all this slowness

I am tired of acting like I enjoy the day

I can't anymore

I need adventures and uneaseness

I need to be under a tree unpacking a travel bag

searching for that quick bite before I resume

I need to be under the stars and counting the big ones

I can't sit at a window and look at the passing cars

I can't sit around and dance to another melody

I need to be out in the wilderness and battling for breath

I need to know that I am alive and here

And not just another painting on the wall

in the living room that's beige.

When you spread your wings and fly away from the home you've always known, rarely do you realize the depth of the fact that it would not be so easy to return.

I miss everything about my home. Now that I've left, all I want is to go back.

Crawl into my bed and fall asleep to the sounds of the sea.

The sea and its crashing waves, a lullaby that has sneaked into my life without me even realizing.

I cannot sleep in the silence of this new city.

I miss the waves.

And the comfort knowing that the sea is awake and keeping me company.

Love is sometimes not what we expect.

I don't remember the exact day I fell in love.

But when you get late, I worry.

My brain tells me it's fine,

that you're probably stuck in traffic.

But my heart don't seem to understand.

It doesn't let me breathe.

My heart does not know the reasons or distances.

It only knows your absence.

And when mine doesn't find your heart to beat alongside,

It dies a little bit everytime.

Tired is not even enough to describe the way I feel now. There's emptiness, vastness of it inside me. Yet there's no room to breathe.

No space where my soul can rest and do a little stretch.

Years of existence has piled upon me and now there's hardly any room....for myself.

Days have turned to weeks and weeks to months.

The sparkle of life has quietened down and all that's left is a stubborn heart shaped hollow.

Once filled to the brim with hopes and dreams, now it lays stuck in the sand and long forgotten.

A fossil from the days when the sun used to be kind and the wind was fresh. When I used to be me.

Now? Now it's all a hallucination... Something I feel I used to have but not really...

There is no escape.

You can't run away from your mind.

From how you look and who you are.

But like the sky, you will never be blue all the time.

Like the sky, there are colours in you that are beautiful.

You have your own winters and springs,

Your own dawn and dusk.

Stars in your laugh and moonlight in your eyes.

Like the sky, you're the comfort to someone somewhere.

This is the moment you have to realise, being you is fine.

Because like the sky, you hold so much beauty and comfort.

You think at some point you'll figure life out. But it's doesn't happen. I've been waiting, patiently, hopefully. But it's the same as before. I have my life in my hands, but I can't seem to place the pieces together. There are no patterns or silhouettes in there. No path, nor a destination. Like a silent river that flows till it meets the sea....my life is flowing till it meets the sky.

I've given up on trying to figure it out. I shall wait under the shade of the afternoon slumber, rest and wakeup while the world goes on. Let it unfold on its own. And I'll gladly welcome it home.

Do I wish for someone to look at me and think that I am the most beautiful painting they've ever seen?

Do I wish for someone to hold me oh so softly, afraid that they'll hurt me if the grip is even a little tight?

Do I wish for someone to think of how it would feel to kiss me, to be kissed by me?

Do I wish for someone to think of me when they see purple sunsets and orange dawns?

Do I wish for someone to tell me that they've been thinking about me the whole day?

Do I wish for someone sing to me and cuddle me to sleep?

Do I wish for someone who can't stop thinking about a beautiful future where we belong together?

Yes.

I wish that.

All of it.

But most days I wish someone would just smile at me.

There are galaxies I must conquer within your eyes.

So no matter how many times you push me away, I'll stay.

Come back with more softness and gentle tones.

Listen to the songs of each star that you hold in your eyes.

Blowing a cool breeze when the fire inside them is too hot.

You will never lose me, not now, not in a million years.

For where there are stars and stories,

There'll always be me, soft breaths and touches of love.

Until the universe collapses on itself,

I shall hold your hand and craddle you close.

There is no escape.

You can't run away from your mind.

From how you look and who you are.

But like the sky, you will never be blue all the time.

Like the sky, there are colours in you that are beautiful.

You have your own winters and springs,

Your own dawn and dusk.

Stars in your laugh and moonlight in your eyes.

Like the sky, you're the comfort to someone somewhere.

This is the moment you have to realise, being you is fine.

Because like the sky, you hold so much beauty and comfort.

There is no escape

Not for you

Not from yourself

The idea of escaping yourself is an illusion

This is the moment when you have to realize, life is made to be faced

Not to be hidden from

Because like the sky, it will never let you out of sight

Like the sky it will envelope you from all sides

And like the sky when you least expect it, life will come crashing down

Sometimes you meet someone.

And suddenly all your poems are about them.

I am tired of writing about you.

But I can't seem to write about anything else.

I can't make you perfect, because you're not.

Yet all the lines I have ever written are full of love.

For you, I guess.

Because ever since we met,

my heart has always spoken your name.

In whispers, and then as songs.

Now in paintings and poems,

your existence sprawls across the walls of my house.

I only realised that it was love,

when pastel yellows became too beautiful to ignore.

Stupid thing love,

making me wait and hope,

when all this time you never were here.

I feel like I am inside a snow globe,

enchanted to stay a happy sight forever.

But deep within the walls of my heart and soul,

the winter of your absence has turned an ugly grey.

The snow no longer pure and white,

but tinted with the fading colours of my heartbreak,

and the lost yellows of your smile.

Memories of a thousand moments,

All dance in the late afternoon sunlight.

Like the final touch to the awaited painting,

They shimmer beneath my eyes.

In that moment it feels like time never passed,

Like there's a forever in between my lips and the teacup.

But like an ever flowing river,

the memories come and go,

one by one.

A sad reminder that time never promises.

And all that you feel will last a lifetime,

will be gone in the blink of an eye.

And now I sit on the floor,

surrounded by the rare November warmth.

But I miss yours.

I miss your hand and the soft touches it leaves behind.

And all I now have are the ghosts of your palm,

and the coldness of the paintings that they left behind.

An ache deeper than any ocean runs through me,

and it sadly whispers promises of a forever.

I know they won't be broken this time.

Because I've always known that you were the one.

Fragile is the way you walk along the beach,

looking out at the setting sun.

Fragile is how your voice sound,

when you hum the songs of your dreams.

Fragile is how your eyes look,

when you see a star and wish upon it.

Fragile is you,

sometimes in the morning,

always at night.

But everytime you smile,

fragile becomes my heart.

Everytime you cry,

fragile are my bones.

Fragile has long since stopped being a word to me.

Now it is the state of my being when I am in your arms.

My art is rough around the edges.

Like me, like the way I sometimes feel.

It has its seasons and its draughts.

Somedays, it flows easily.

Too easily.

And those days scare me a little.

Somedays I have to ground myself in it,

be cautious and aware of each stroke.

Those days are the most peaceful.

But yet somedays feel like a forever,

between me and my palette.

I may not be an artist yet.

But there's art in me.

And I see it all around me.

It does not matter,

thhat I can't put a label on the way the brush feels in my hands.

Artist or not, I have a home in colors.

A place to lose myself, and sometimes to discover myself.

Infinte possibilities at the end of my brush,

sprawled like lightning strikes on my dirty desk.

The only thing I know are the songs in my head,

when I close my eyes and think of the next color.

It becomes a little easier to breathe,

when I am surrounded by the smell of paints.

Forever grounded to the carefree version of me,

with the added weight of a tube of color.

Everything falls into place,

the world stays still in a haze.

Everytime I hold a brush and paint,

somewhere in me is born a little girl.

Again.

There was never a fullmoon when I didn't think of your glowing face as I fell back into the peaceful depths of slumber.

And there was never a day when I didn't wish I could see your smile with the morning sunrays kissing your face.

I've been in love with you for so long now, that I count my days in the ways you exist here in this space.

Love was never a choice. It was the only option.

And you, my love, is the best of heaven and earth.

It's a shell.

We're long gone.

Forever has an end.

And time is no more.

Just a small speck of sky.

A large drop of ocean.

Secrets ageless with history.

Promises that speak of betrayal.

Old paintings hung, forgotten.

Letters cramped under the bed.

A flower that wilts on the sill.

A song that died on the lips.

Fading colours behind the mirror.

Longings in the wind, whispered in desperation.

It's an end, like all good things must face.

Atleast we tried.

But what a tragic attempt that was.

For eternities to come,

they'll talk about the lovers

who almost had it.

But almost is never enough.

And so they'll say,

to be young and in love is a beautiful thing.

And we'll watch,

in pity from the shadows.

The things we leave behind,

always seems like a lost battle.

Because of we could,

we'd lug them along.

But that's not how this works.

We are meant live within these lines,

cross no more and no white space.

Why do they call it life,

when it resembles the very thing that hells are made of?

It seems as if there's anything but hope in here.

Tired sighs and worn out souls.

All the corners taken up by the lost ones.

We were meant to be free and happy and be at peace.

But look at us, look at us withering away to charred remains.

Why is it so wrong to smile when we feel like it.

And why does everything always have to be done,

like they were done before us, for centuries.

We are not ghosts of the past,

but the pioneers of a better future.

Yet here we are, burned and hunted down,

all because we won't fit the box.

With every bone that breaks, the lines expand.

But how many more lives shall be lost,

before we can breathe again.

This cursed system has been going on for so long,

that now all the dreams we had have become mere passing fancies.

We can't afford to pay the price for choosing to have them,

when we ourselves have been so out of focus,

and so so close to an unattainable end.

Are we real, or are we too,the remnants of some far fetched dreams?

Out of focus, out of focus,

We've been anything but alive.

Because the world does not know how slow it has become,

and how far we are from the light.

Thus we shall remain out of focus,

till the last bone breaks,

and there's no one left to fit into the box.

Dear diary,

It's August again.

The sun has quietened down,

and so has my heart.

The most peaceful time of the year,

are August afternoons spent with cups of sweet tea.

☻︎♡︎

Dear diary,

Life is beautiful again.

The monotonous journey has taken a break,

And everything has become shades of happiness.

Days are warm and serene,

And I believe this comes close to heaven.

☻︎♡︎

Dear diary,

I think I am happy.

Atleast for now.

Atleast for August.

And I hope this stays.

If not forever, then atleast for a while.

☻︎♡︎

Dear diary,

You are going to be filled with stories and love.

You are going to be full of wonder and joy.

It's August again,

and we've both come to life.

Like the soft hues of ink on your pages,

my heart has begun to see the world in cotton candy colors.

☻︎♡︎

Dear diary,

And August my love,

We shall have the most beautiful times together.

Please let him go.

You were not meant to be this way.

You should be glowing, flowing through stars and space.

Not sitting tired in a corner, away from everything.

Away from life.

You have years ahead .

Millennias to conquer.

He is but a fleeting dream.

A flash in the evening sky.

Gone as fast as he came,

Never too close to feel the warmth.

So please let him go.

There's no way he'll come back.

Or think of you.

Or wish you'd wait.

He's gone on.

And now you should do the same.

Let him go.

For far more adventures await you.

And I promise your broken heart will feel less broken,

day by day.

Let him go.

Let him go.

Just let go.

The drive is good.

Refreshing, calming.

A little bit silly too.

But I love it, I adore it.

Still, I wish you'd been there.

Holding my hand,

Your goofy laughter filling up the car.

I miss your jokes.

And your happy little giggles.

When I pass the beach at sunset,

I can feel the warmth of your smile on my skin.

A comforting touch of light and life,

a reassurance that you haven't left.

And while I close my eyes and bask in your love,

I know that you miss me too.

I can feel your heartbeat in every ray that falls on my outstretched palm.

I feel it in the way the sun seems a little too close sometimes.

Like I can almost touch it.

Like it's a kiss.

While the warmth of the sunset holds your love for me,

my sunburnt heart loves you with all the colors of a sunrise.

Let us remain like this forever.

Our love,

hidden in the rising and setting

of the brightest star in the sky.

You watch the light leave their eyes. You watch their heart crumble into crimson colored dust. But that's all that you can do. Watch from afar while another bleeds for your warmth.

And then you realise how very cruel fate can be sometimes.

Because there is nothing you wouldn't do to hold them in your hands, there's nothing you'd want more than wiping their tears away. And you'd take away their pain in a heartbeat and replace it with all things beautiful in your life. If only you could.

Sometimes you can love someone so much but not in a way that matters to them. And not in a way that makes sense to you. But still there's love and pain and longing. But it's all wrong and right at the same time.

Sometimes it's painful to love someone. And sometimes it's painful to be loved. And you don't really have a choice with either of them.

So you watch them leave, with a broken heart, and you're left there with an ache in you that'll never really go away.

And in the silence of the night you whisper to no one in particular.

"In another lifetime perhaps...."

You just walked away like that.

And took all of my words with you.

I am left with an empty pen,

and an even emptier heart.

Where do I go from here?

Back to the misery that I came from,

or the uncertain darkness that lay ahead.

Maybe I'll rest here for a while.

Under the fading glow of the moon,

with the silence of the sky to keep me company.

It's not that I can't move on.

I just want to linger here a little more,

to trace my fingers through the blurring outlines of our fates.

Let the dying sun go in peace.

And soon enough I'll be gone from your name too.

Till then say yes to the whsipers I've sent with the wind.

Tell me that it was a good story.

And that you loved me once.

I am sorry I couldn't create a safe place for you.

I am sorry I couldn't be brave enough to let you be you.

I am sorry for all the times I made you say you hate pink (we love it now).

I am sorry for trying too hard sometimes and not trying at all other times.

I am sorry that you had to face all those years alone, without someone to hold you close.

I am sorry for letting you go when I should've held onto you tighter.

I am sorry for thinking that shutting you out will make me feel like I belong somewhere, anywhere.

I am sorry for abandoning you when all you ever had was me.

But now, little one, we are here. You and I, both of us are safe in this space that I have started to call 'heart'.

Cry all you want, I'll hold you. Be fierce, be gentle, be everything that you've wanted to be. I am here and you can be you.

Sweet young child, you're safe in my hands.

And we'll be okay. I love you, and that's all that matters.

To my younger self,

I'm sorry that I couldn't save you. I'm sorry that I didn't stop you from harms. I'm sorry that now you're too broken to be put together

It was never your fault. It was never your fault. It was never your fault. Not your fault. Not your fault. Not your fault. Not your fault

Where do I bury the fragments of my heart that reminds me of you?

Beneath the stars, under the old and forgotten tree?

Or I could pick out a grave in the abandoned playground.

In the moonlight, with my bare hands I shall dig a grave in the soft earth.

There I'll put the bits and pieces of your traces in my life.

And I shall finally plant a pretty flower on its top.

In the silence of the night, my lips will find its way back to our favourite song.

Like a lullaby or a last goodbye,

I shall sing in soft tones till I can no more.

I don't know what to do with all this love in my heart now, because it was all for your and now that you've made it clear that you don't need my affection, I find it difficult to keep these feelings in the same place for fear that they may get mixed up again and instead of letting go I'll accidentally hold onto you forever.

There will always be reasons to return.

In the form of old forgotten promises.

Or slow songs filled with a sort of comforting sadness.

Patter of the raindrops will call you back.

Every twinkle of the stars will remind you of home.

Of the heart that awaits yours after all this time.

It's never too late they say.

But it still is too early, says time.

The passing days are a blur of white and gold.

But in the tiredness of the lonely night,

your smile still keeps me warm.

Sometimes I wonder if I have wandered too far,

but then I close my eyes and there you are.

Right beneath my skin and always on my mind.

Space and time may keep us apart,

but still the yearning hearts find ways to be alive.

There's a kind of hope that stems from helplessness.

And everytime I crave your voice, I hope I can hear them in the soft crackle of the summer's fires.

The colors of it seems too much like the shade of your eyes.

It soothes me in this lone journey of mine,

What a pity that I can't hold it in my palm.

But then again fire and water never did get along.

Except maybe for us.

Is that why the stars were aligned like this?

So that I may cross unknown oceans and you may burn in my absence.

But they never anticipated that love might find a way.

Because we did and we always will.

It's getting cold and dark and the sky is full of stars that remind me of your eyes.

Maybe when morning comes I can take my first step back home.

Towards your waiting arms.

And towards our forever.

The ghost of your skin is still warm on my palms. Your scent lingering in the spaces between my fingers. My eyes are still on the last place that held your shadow. You've disappeared through the door that's still open. I can't bring myself to shut it, for fear that I might lose you forever then.

The moment stretches on and I can't feel anything except for this dull thumping of my heart.

It was a mistake to hold you so close and kiss you with love. And it was an even bigger mistake to hope that you kiss back. Mistakes that cut off our red strings of fate. And now, like autumn leaves in the cool breeze, our souls are drifting apart, blown away from the other to lands far from this place.

Calling this heartbreak would be cruel. This feels like death.

As I feel the colours in me drain away along with the warmth inside, I know you've killed me with your absence. Or perhaps your presence all along...

I know you will never return.

You won't ever come back.

I won't see you ever again.

And I won't see this me ever again too.

The sky is still sleeping outside. And soon the love in me will go to sleep as well.

They say empty vessels make the most sound. But the screams of my soul only come out as whispers against the silence of this dawn.

I've lost you and I've lost myself.

As the sky turns to a mixture of greyish pink, I stand at the same spot you left me. Wondering why everyone says love is beautiful, when it has been a painful poison all along.

Stop running and turn around.

I am still here, standing in the dark.

With outstretched hands waiting to hold you.

Come to me and please stay this time.

We found each other after a million sad stories.

Each one more heartbreaking than the last.

So come back and I promise I'll hold you.

Sleepless nights have been my friends for a while now.

But with you by my side, the world comes alive.

My heart is stronger this time.

Let me take away your pain and mourn for your loss.

Close your eyes and walk back to me.

For so long your were lost among the starless skies.

But now even the darkness is tired of keeping us apart.

I've littered stars to guide you back home.

Follow the fading lights and by dawn you'll be safe in my arms.

It's time for our forever, my love.

We are a whole lifetime away.

Then why are we pretending to be closer?

With every hour that fades as the morning comes,

we move away from each other slowly.

Like the ticking of a tired clock,

the moments we stole are going too fast.

I never want to let go of your hand,

but when morning comes how do I make you stay?

I don't have any thing more to give you,

and all that you can say has already been said.

We knew we'll fade with the first sunrise.

But then why does letting go feel so much like dying.

I wish the night could stretch on for eternity.

Hold each other here under the soft moonlight.

We're meant to walk away from the other,

but our hearts can't help run back to each other.

There are a million stars in the sky tonight,

but there are a million more unshed tears in our eyes.

The horizon is starting to turn pink now.

Your hand is too warm to let go.

Sunrises are the most beautiful thing there is.

But not when it takes you away from me.

Let this sunrise come and go.

Maybe we can close our eyes and pretend the night is still young.