Dive Deep into Creativity: Your Ultimate Tumblr Experience Awaits
“There’s definitely a small banana joke in there somewhere...”
-My teacher, to a student, after she explained how we’d be putting condoms on bananas and he said he might as well put it on the real thing
pls yell at me about having unprotected sex pls i’ve been slacking sm and it doesn’t feel important to me anymore oops
LET ME FUCKING TELL YALL. ABOUT SAFE SEX.
- IF YOU HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX WITH ONE PERSON YOU’RE HAVING SEX WITH ALL THEIR PARTNERS. which doesn’t sound bad bc you know they have good taste (obviously if they’re sleeping with you duh) but if you’re the upgrade what the FUCK were they coming from yk??? “If you play with trash, you’re gonna get dirty.” - Kie’s dad.
- STDs AND STIs ARE FUCKING UNCOMFY. LIKE, ITCHY EVERYWHERE. BURNING CROTCH. IT BURNS TO PEE. PUS. FROM YOUR COCK OR VAGINA. DISGUSTING. SWELLING UGH EW. YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW YOU HAVE STDs FOR UP TO TWO WEEKS. and it’d be kinda mean if you gave someone an STD so please don’t
- LITERALLY IT’S SO EASY TO GET FREE CONDOMS GUYS. TYPE YOUR ZIPCODE INTO THIS WEBSITE AND IT’LL SHOW YOU THE CLOSEST PLACE TO GET FREE CONDOMS NEAR YOU. for guys and gals and nonbinary pals who have vaginas and like others with vaginas, dental dams are also a thing.
- P R E G N A N C Y. THE BIGGEST FUCKING BIRTH CONTROL EVER. CHILDREN ARE LOUD. AND MESSY. AND SO EXPENSIVE. THEY NEED CONSTANT ATTENTION. THEY WONT EAT WHEN YOU WANT THEM TO. YOU’LL CHANGE THOUSANDS OF DIAPERS. YOU’LL HAVE TO GET UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT TO BRING THEM TO THE HOSPITAL WHEN THEY HAVE A FEVER OF 103 AND THEN PAY FOR THE HOSPITAL BILLS. PREGNANCY IS PAINFUL. CHILDREN ARE ALSO ASSHOLES.
- PULLING OUT DOESNT WORK. PRECUM CAN CONTAINS TRACES OF SEMEN WHICH CAN MAKE ITS WAY INTO THE EGGS.
- PLEASE DONT LISTEN TO ANYONE WITH A PENIS WHO COMPLAINS ABOUT BEING TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM. THEY ARE LIARS. OR HAVE DANGEROUSLY HUMONGOUS DICKS THAT SHOULD REALLY GET IT CHECKED OUT BECAUSE AT THAT RATE IT SHOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE TO WALK. IT’LL BE LIKE A THIRD FUCKING LEG DUDE HONESTLY.
- FOR YALL ON BIRTH CONTROL, MISSING A PILL CAN SET YOU BACK THREE DAYS
- GUYS. PORN IS FREE. PORNHUB IS FREE. XHAMSTER IS FREE. SMUT IS FREE. EVEN YOUTUBE HAS SOME SUGGESTIVE AUDIOS THAT MIGHT RUFFLE YOUR FEATHERS. i mean during quarantine you shouldn’t be fuckin anyway. why not get to know yourself a little better. you’re home all day with nothing to do. why not have some fun.
so, in short... be safe. have fun. do the do. but don’t do it at the cost of your health or the next eighteen years of your life. children never go away. like, ever. just jack off. mutual masturbation. phone sex. zoom sex. skype sex. anyway, big love, guys.
pitaparka, out.
LILY ADAMS - MOTION PICTURE EROTICA - TWO RODS ONE REAR END BOTH INSIDE TOGETHER AT THE SAME TIME IN THE EXACT SAME ENTRANCE TOUCHING EACH OTHER WHILE INSIDE THAT REAR END AS WELL AS THE ENTERED TUNNEL. CALLED TO COME TOGETHER BY FALSE PRESENTATIONS OF OWNERSHIP OF BASICALLY EVERYTHING PRESENTED IN RELATION TO SQUATTING AND DISPLACING BUT NOT ELIMINATING MOST OF THE NORMAL INHABITING PERSONS AT THAT ADDRESS WHO ALL ALREADY TALK TIME AND TIME AGAIN ABOUT NOT WANTING TO EVER BE DISPLACED AGAIN BY WANDERING HOBOS LOOKING FOR A PLACE TO SQUAT. THEY'RE CLEARLY ASKING FOR IT WHEN THEY SQUAT...
Fair warning, this one's kind of a long one.
Recently my local Walmart put the condoms and sex toys behind a glass case and to access them you need to press the button to call someone over and open the case.
I hate that they did this. It stigmatizes safe sex because no longer is it something that can be done discretely and privately, now if you want to by condoms you have to bring a whole other human being into the process. Some people would rather die than pick out a box of condoms or a sex toy in front of a random stranger.
This is especially bad for minors. Imagine you're a 16 year old who's gonna lose their virginity that night. You're not stupid so you got to your local Wally world to purchase a box of rubbers. You can even use the self checkout! Simple, easy, no one has to see you do it and you don't have to face any judgment. Only to get there and realize in horror that you have to ask someone to open the box so you can get the condoms, and you're to nervous to do it.
Even though there are probably no consequences, still, having to ask an adult, and authority figure, for permission to do something that you know is a major social faux pas is a terrifying thought for a minor. Hell, I'm an adult and even I'd have a hard time doing that.
You see how this is bad? It makes people afraid to make smart decisions and be safe because they might face judgment for it. Making condoms harder to access is not going to make teenagers have less sex, it's going to make them have more unsafe sex.
Same with sex toys. Having a little fun in the bedroom should not be something you need anybody else's approval to do.
Having safe sex should not be stigmatized.
Having good sex should not be stigmatized.
If I were to make a list of things I feel it's ok to steel, condoms would be number three. Right under food and medicine.
Anyway, fuck Walmart for doing that. Condoms should be cheap, easy, and stress free to access for everyone.