Well You See - Blog Posts

Redoing poll due to poor wording

𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫 - 𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢 𝐲𝐮𝐮𝐣𝐢 | 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟓

"i miss her, even if she's everywhere. mother, come home."

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–pairings: itadori yuuji x oc

– warning: mentions of death, mentions of abuse, hurt-comfort (?), canon divergent, pre-shibuya arc

– author’s note: i really disappeared for a long time, im so so sorry. and i promise this is becoming more yuuji-centric eventually–

disclaimer: i’m not of japanese descent and am unfamiliar with japanese honorifics, etc. feel free to correct me!

“Okaa-san.”

Her eyes crinkled at the title. She stood there patiently, and I steeled myself to move closer towards her. The cold air didn’t bother me, the warmth from my mother was all that kept me grounded.

Her arms wrapped around me, but I couldn’t feel anything other than the slightest air brush against my skin. I felt her love and that was enough. When she pulled away, I saw recognition fall upon her kind eyes.

“I see you’ve settled in nicely in Jujutsu Tech,” She hummed, eyeing the dirty dishes in my sink.

“Ah, Nobara came over with some of her… friends.”

“I noticed,” She turns to me, a look of pity in her eyes. “Tsubame, is Nobara still your only friend?”

“No… Fumi and I are still in touch,” I mumbled.

“My girl, you need to open up, I know my passing had affected you but–”

“Okaa-san, I know what I’m doing,” I couldn’t help but cut my mother off.

I didn’t like how she knew exactly why I had such high walls around my heart. I didn’t like how she knew what I was feeling, but she knew that I was stubborn, and she knew me like the back of her cold, dead hands.

“I don’t need new friends, I don’t need to let my guard down because I can be stronger, I can protect those I’m close to!”

My mother watched me in silence, everything that needed to be said in her black eyes, a flicker of lilac glowing, as though she had hope for me, and I wished that it would die out just so that I didn’t the reality of disappointing her falling over me like cold water.

“Okaa-san, I’m not here to make friends, I’m here to become stronger and defend those I love.”

My fist clenched in my hands, and it was as if I looked at her, the tears would all come pouring out – as if just the sight of my dead mother would break down everything I built up.

Everything felt amplified when she placed her hand on my chin, lifting it so I could look into her dark eyes. In that moment, everything felt real. Like she was real. Her touch felt so warm, and in the back of my mind I knew my body was tricking me into thinking she was truly here, but I couldn’t help but sink into the feeling again. 

“I know that life isn’t easy for you now, my dear,” She whispered, cupping my cheek, and I leaned into her touch, letting myself believe her lie. “But sometimes, you have to lower the walls you’ve built to let yourself heal. If you just sit around with a broken heart, no one can be there for you, no one can truly help you fix it.”

She wipes her hand over my tears, and it feels as though all will be right in the world.

“My dear Tsubame,” She mutters. “You’re too hard on yourself. It is time to put Tadashi to rest.”

Her hand sweeps my hair out of my eyes, “Your hair is getting long too, my dear.”

“Right,” I laugh a little a sniffle escaping me. “Yeah… I’m planning to cut my fringe soon. Or cut it all short…”

My mother sighs and I know what she’s about to say. There’s no point in avoiding the topic, after all, my father would always be a part of my life, whether I liked it or not.

“Tsubame, your father…”

“I know, I should forgive him,” I mutter, but that doesn’t stop the bitterness lacing my voice.

“No, that’s not what I wanted to say,” She strokes my cheek gently, her gentle eyes holding so much love. “What your father did to you was wrong. He should never have raised his hand to you…”

She brushes my fringe to the side, revealing the little bandage across my left eyebrow.

“He’s lost his way. And I understand why you left, my dear. But please, know that even though you’ve left that life, the path ahead of you is much more difficult. Being a jujutsu sorcerer has its risks, and some you will regret for the rest of your life. Are you sure you are willing to take those risks?”

My eyes meet hers and I feel myself nod in determination, “I am. I’m ready to do anything to overcome those risks. I’d do anything to make sure that what happened to you will never happen again.”

My mother’s eyes held a drop of sadness, the lilac specks in her eyes glowing. She gently kisses my forehead, and I let her hold me, missing her embrace that would protect me from my darkest moments.

“Then be strong, my girl,” She smiles, pulling away. “Maybe try to open up, okay? Just give it a shot. For me?”

I wince slightly before letting out a small sigh.

“...I can try…”

“Good,” She smiles, pulling me into a final hug. “Why not start with that Itadori boy? He seems very sweet–”

“Thanks, Okaa-san!” I can feel my cheeks heat up violently. “B-But I don’t need advice for who to make friends with–”

I heard my mother chuckle, pulling away from me as she began to laugh harder at my now-red cheeks.

“My dear, I see it all. I was there when you met. You like him, don’t you?”

I frown, and I struggle to get the blush down from my cheeks, “I know nothing of liking anyone. Or romance in general.”

“If you insist, my dear. But I mentioned nothing of romance. I simply meant that you liked him as a friend.”

I freeze, feeling my mother’s teasing smile, but the moment I look up, she was no longer standing before me. The lights no longer dimmed, but now the warm yellow of the lightbulbs. The air was no longer cold or still, but my cheeks still felt warm.

“...I don’t like him. At all,” I huff, narrowing my eyes where she used to stand.

It was all silent as the wind whistled, entering through the now-opened window – the sliding door that I hadn’t opened. The wind suddenly sounded like her laugh as she made me aware of my reactions, a maternal reaction of amusement in the wind.

gif by @heycaz

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