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You walked up to me and covered my eyes from behind.
Years later your touch lingers still.
I don't know what to do
I am not starved for touch
I am starved for you
The hope, that you may never read these words.
The fear, that you may never read these words.
Don't stab me in the back. Stab me in the front so I can hug you as I draw my last Breath.
You are my most painful past that i don't want to change.
Yes. Yes indeed.
Day 2710th of trying to be happy in your happiness
Day 2710 of failure
Oh the conflict between wanting to tell you everything I want to say and wanting to sit with you in silence forever. Watching clouds.
If I promise to not call it love. Do you promise to stop asking me to let you go?
You might not be here always but you are always here when it matters most.
i swear everything that i see is something i don't wanna see but need to
Can I be honest with you?
I seriously went to other people to ask how I should approach you. I don’t even know who I fucking am anymore. I’ve always been a “talk about it” or “if you wanna know, ask” kind of person. Blunt. Straight. To the point. But I’ve been so scared I might be pushing you away, so petrified by the idea that I might come on too strong, that I started playing all these silly little games. I fucking hate staring at my phone wanting nothing more than to talk to you, but holding back because “it hasn’t been a whole day yet” or because I’m “waiting for you to text first.” Fuck. That. I like you; maybe a little more than I’d like to admit. I want to go out and experience new things with you. See you smile and laugh while we make stupid little jokes to each other. I want to learn what makes you tick. What your deepest fears are. What your biggest passions are. I want to prove to you that you mean more to me than just some repository for attention. If that scares you away, then fine. If you don’t feel comfortable with that yet, that’s okay. I can’t force you to like me. But at least I’ll be able to sleep at night knowing that I put my best foot forward. That I wore my heart on my sleeve, and no one had to guess how I feel. I’m done playing these stupid fucking games.
(J)