Restart - Blog Posts

A Focus on the Basics

A new year has begun.  It is a time for reflection, a time for nostalgia, and a time for motivation.

2013 was the craziest year of my life so far.  It was an emotional and visceral roller-coaster from which I learned a lot about myself, about what I want and need.  As I look back, I realize the one thing that I need to start doing in my life if I want to succeed as a professional, as a husband, and as me --- focus on the basics.

In 2012, I was scared that I was stagnating professionally, worried that I was going to be stuck in autopilot and become the unambitious, listless worker everyone fears to be for the rest of his or her life.  I went to graduate school to gain a deeper understanding of my engineering interests, and it was frittering away.  It affected my personal life as well --- I became less productive at home and started to believe that I wasn't living up to the husband I wanted to be.  By the end of 2012, I took a risk and left my job for another with the promise of a real challenge.  There was a lot of thought and deliberation for that decision, and I can honestly say it was a great decision.

However, my stagnation concerns returned, and inward crept the fears again.  My job took more and more of my time, and I felt like I was neglecting my personal life.  I wrote film critiques and played guitar less and less, I struggled keeping in touch with friends and family, and I rarely stopped to look and appreciate where my life had taken me.  My fitness level dropped like a stone in water, and every time I tried to restart working out, something would come up that would take me out of it.

On the professional side, it wasn't a fear that I was wasting my knowledge away, but a fear that I would never be an equal to my co-workers and respected by my superiors.  For every step forward that I took, I felt that there was something that would happen that would knock me two steps backward.  Every time that happened, I looked at myself and wondered whether I should have become an engineer.  I thought I was growing at a snail's pace while everyone else was significantly further along.  The challenge was winning. 

As 2014 begins, I realize that perceived lack of growth is just that --- perceived.  I have grown significantly throughout 2013, and thankfully only a small percentage of that is my weight.  I still have a long way to go, but the hindrance is me.  I'm so focused on gaining advanced knowledge and skills that I've neglected basic principles.  I want to play hard guitar songs without practicing my scales and learning my modes.  I want to be five years down the road personally and professionally so badly that I forget to learn how to live and work now.

So, starting in 2014, I will strive harder to find the work-life balance.  I will improve my fitness to be as good as, if not better than, it was my first year of marriage.  I will focus on learning and memorizing the engineering basics so that I have a foundation of knowledge that won't be on mental sand.  I will learn to understand that I will fail several times before I succeed.  I will play my scales and modes so that my fingers stay nimble enough for playing along with my songs.  I will find a little bit of time to read leisurely, regardless of how long it takes me to finish a book.  I will write more film critiques and complete the cycle of Star Wars critiques I began a couple of years ago.  I will stop and take stock in the life that I have so that I have a solid foundation for the life I will have.  For all who read this, please hold me accountable.  I know I can't do this alone, but I know that I can do this.

felt🙏

the urge to delete everything and restart

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Coffee cups and half read paper backs...

Coffee cups and half read paper backs…

Have you ever thought about how some conversations just exists in a certain time frame? Have you ever wondered how some laughs just stay in the coffee cup ? Have you ever realized that certain parts of a novel you started reading make you look back at your life?

The thing is that we often are so lost in the day to day ordeal of life that we stop enjoying the small parts of this enormous life…

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One day you will realize that you are not the center of the world and that...is...okay.

someone who realized this long ago.