Kinnporsche Ep 12 - Blog Posts

Kim's chains & their possible symbolism (Special)

I suggest reading the previous 3 part series I made before this

The conflict

This is the only instances in ep 9 where Kim is conflicted when Porchay confesses. After seeing that mini shrine on his wall, hearing the love song, thinking of him during his own songwriting & now the innocent confession.

Kim stopped himself the last time when Chay serenaded him. And now Porchay has the audacity to be this cute innocent boy who promised God to risk confessing in return if he passed his college entrance exam.

Kim can't take it anymore. This is the ONLY instance until ep 12 where Kim has let his emotions get the better of him WHILE wearing a necklace.

This goes a long way to show the intensity of Kim's feelings. Considering he's somebody who suppresses his emotions with ease compared to an average person.

It can serve as symbolism for Kim letting himself indulge his emotional needs. He is removing his self imposed restrictions & involuntarily choosing to love. Choosing to be selfish in satisfying his momentary desire instead of constantly looking at the bigger picture.

And later when Kim gets a hug & hugs back. He's overwhelmed. He realises the warmth of a hug after being seemingly touch starved since years.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Kim's chains & their possible symbolism (Part 1/3)

The safety pins

Both are instances when Kim is intruding other's rooms to find information. Therefore the "I'm a safe space" symbolism of safety pin doesn't stand here. Especially when Kim is breaking into the place where others keep their things safe.

It could probably mean Kim is poking his nose here like a pin 😂😂

The safety pin is holding 2 ends of the chain, so it could also mean he's trying to piece together all the clues & information he can lay his hands on.

Part 2

Part 3

Special

How Kim & WIK were 2 different people until Porchay came along.

Part 4/4

For the first time Kim almost immediately loses his composure on hearing Porchay didn't turn up for his college interview.

Let's take a moment to appreciate how deep Porchay's love was. 😭 He must have dreamt of joining music school after idolising WIK. The more he got to know him, his idol became his muse & first love. (There's a quote which says "Love is creating a religion with a fallible God") He loved him with all his heart so when WIK left so did Porchay's ability to make art 🥺🥺🥺🥺

The vexed person here is not Kim but WIK. He was surprised after hearing even teachers found Porchay as promising as he did. He did spend time tutoring Chay & as a teacher, he was hoping his student to do well.

He also knows Chay is neither incapable nor weak. He was not like regular kids whose main struggles were graduating high school or getting into college. Porchay was coping with their uncle's betrayal. Porsche abruptly leaving him alone with a letter & no way of communication. He was fighting his battles alone the whole time & still managed to stay positive.

Kim probably went thinking Porchay lost confidence & needs reassurance. But then he realized he had been a monster all along. Because it hit him that WIK was the reason Porchay learnt to dream. And KIM was the one who crushed it.

When Porchay tells him off, Kim realises for the first time that he's not in position to lecture anyone. Now that he let someone know about his double life, who was he to teach about separating personal & professional lives? What right did he have to tell anything, when Porchay reminded that he never interfered in Kim's life?

When Kim left warning "From now on, what you do is your darn decision" I don't think he meant, "I'm no longer going to care about you or protect you."

Rather, he must have meant, "You're growing into an adult who needs to take responsibility of his life. So don't do anything that you would regret later." He's right. Porchay should have prioritised college. He's got a long life ahead to wallow, date & break up.

But it doesn't look right when it's coming from Kim, who grew up the way he did, has almost no issues listening to his head over his heart, and is now failing to either hold on or let go. He first leads him on, breaks his heart, and still continues to show up like a knight in shining armor. Only walk away without even an elaborate apology. He can't nurse his broken heart & move on until you withdraw from his life P'Kim😪

Now ik we're all rooting for a happy ending for our y/n x celebrity in a mafia au 😂

It's unrealistic to expect Kim to turn into this openly affection person with good communication skills. It's also weird if Porchay adjusts seamlessly into the world of organised crime. Yes even I want Kim to go out of his way & give Porchay a grand apology. I also hope Porchay says that he understands but he's still hurt. That he takes his time to heal & forgive.

A believeable happy ending would be the one where Porchay agrees to make an effort to understand Kim & his life. Meanwhile Kim stops separating parts of himself and promises to love Porchay as Kimhan Theerapanyakul instead WIK or KIM.

Love is not an end result but the efforts made every single day.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Thinking about how this poem referenced in Hometown Cha Cha Cha perfectly suits KimChay.💔 Quite literally 😔 considering their interactions happen near entrances 🥺 not to mention they were each other's muse 😭😭😭😭

"The Gatekeeper" by Kim Haeng Soon (tr. David Bowles)

It’s my job to say, “You can’t do that here.”

It’s my job to deny your objective.

It’s my job to deny you the next day, too.

It’s my job to wait for you the following day to deny you again.

It’s my job to wait for you the day after that and fall in love with you.

So it’s my job to deny my love.

“I won’t cry over my vocation,” I wrote.

But while writing in my diary,

I sometimes wept.

A fanfic of Vegas' villian origin story in KinnPorsche

Imagine Vegas being allowed to go on a field trip to a beach in a village when 13. It's got to do with his father's mission but he's grateful for the chance to use the school bus for once. Like other kids. Cut to Vegas sitting alone waiting for his father in the evening. His classmates have left for home.

He grabs fistfuls of sand & watches the grains slip from his hand while realizing the salt water on his chin is not the sea spray. Suddenly, a hand on his shoulder causes him to flinch. A cracked male voice enquires, "Are you lost?". He shakes his head sideways. On turning around he can't tear his gaze away from the sculpted features of a boy in oversized clothes & messy hair.

"Do you want a friend?" The boy asks again, flashing his dimples & eye smiles. Vegas nods in agreement. The boy sits beside him. "I'm Pete. Even I'm alone today. All my friends are away for vacation. Grandma will be back tomorrow morn. What's your name?" Vegas hesitantly responds, "Vienna. I'm just waiting for my father."

Vegas reads him a story and Pete listens to it with fascination. Pete picks & shows him various seashells but Vegas is only looking at his hands until he spots his father at a distance. Afraid of being spotted together he tells him to hide from his scary father & scurries away.

Since that day Vegas turns to that chest tingling memory for warmth & comfort. He even tries to find that boy but doesn't find any useful leads. Plus the nostalgia of first love also brings regret with it. The fact he didn't even say goodbye. To the boy who deserved to know his real first name at the least. So he tries to distract himself. By plotting against the major family to please his father (spoiler alert : he always fails to)

On a particular bad day the last thing he'd want to do was meeting the major family. But the minor family's heir didn't have the luxury to rest.

This time a new bodyguard greets them with a tight smile. Vegas catches himself thinking "He's cute" as the new recruit escorts them to the meeting room before taking a spot beside Tankhun and half of Vegas' attention.

As they're exiting the room Vegas picks up the new recruit's fallen ID card. He shakes his head in disbelief on seeing a familiar name. There's no way on Earth they could find the one only he knew & never found, right?

His face loses colour when he flips the case. It's like seeing the mirror of Erised. It was a face only he knew from seven years ago. With the same eye smile that had made him feel weak in the knees for the first & last time. There was an old woman in the picture too.

The major family somehow always seemed to have everything he wanted & never got. Loving parents, wealth, power, status, self esteem & respect. Life couldn't be more unfair. One boy, whose memory was only his, his first love, his sole comfort memory that didn't include his deceased mother. Somehow even this was bestowed upon the major family. The one he yearned for was now serving his rivals. They didn't even worship him like he did for 7 long years.

Vegas sought revenge. If he couldn't have his love then he'd never let his rival Kinn be in love either. So he pocketed the card & set out to trap Tawan.