Hallmark Christmas Movies - Blog Posts

WAIT HALLMARK MOVIES ARE MADE BY THE CARD COMPANY????

This whole time I thought that there was a director named Hallmark who was famous for making really bad Christmas movies and thus the name Hallmark movies.

Read this absolutely amazing little story about businessmen who got broken up with over the holidays you know the hallmark movie trope (linked below) and all I can think about is jmart...Jon's a hotshot London lawyer whos been working those long hours to get that promotion for him and Georgie's future and then she up and leaves for 2 weeks before Christmas to go back to like Mistletoe Grove or whatever because she needs to get back to her roots and he's like preparing to propose and thinks her hometown would be the best place so he drives over and sees her like laughing with her old friend Martin and he's like oh. And then while moping in a barn or whatever Martin appears and he's like trying to make conversation and then Jon like erupts like FUCK YOU I can't believe you STOLE my fucking GIRLFRIEND and Martin's like uh...um...that's...um...I'm gay? And Jon's like oh...shit...and Martin's like ...this is really weird of me to say but could i tell you something...and jon just nods and martin takes a breath and really quickly says...if you're gonna be worried about your girlfriend then it's probably Melanie in the wood working shop and Jon's like OF fucking COURSE it's Melanie from the wood working shop and now he has to stay to try and mitigate these circumstances not for any other ugly Christmas jumper clad reason nope, cut to Christmas themed shenanigans as Jon slowly realises its not georgie who he wants to take back home with him...