501st Shenanigans - Blog Posts

fives: *excited* hardcase, jesse & I have a joke for you

hardcase: i’m ready

fives: the council finally found out who’s been committing crimes, but it was a tough case to crack

jesse: *face palms*

hardcase: i don’t get it

jesse: HARDcase to crack, fives, we went over this A HUNDRED TIMES

trouble in the medical bay

Kix walked back into the medic bay after waking for from his force mandatory nap only to see a group of people, vod and Jedi alike all covered in smoke and clothes or armor was tattered.

Kix: "what in the maker did YOU ALL do."

Fives: Well... you se-

echo: it was fives's fault!

fives: ECHO! your the one who suggested the idea to hard case

Jesse: kix I'm innocent in this I swear!

Kix: Jesse that's banthrashit and you know it

hardcase: fives you and Jesse and echo helped! if I go down you come down with me!

anikin: in my defense I didn't know that's why they asked me for all that before they pulled the stunt I swear!

Rex: I simply got caught In the blast when I went to confront them.

WHILE this is going on ashoka just escapes through the vents as she is namely why echo got the ideas as well as the reason her master was to distracted to truly use his one and a half braincell to think it through and why it took rex so long to get there. KIx meanwhile just deals with the other idiots in his medbay and refuses to let any of them our not even for paper work or a Jedi council meeting only later would he realize ashoka is not there...oh well togurta hunt later.

501st Shenanigans -Incorrect Quotes Rex: A mouse!

Jesse, pulling out a knife: Go back to where you came from or I'll stab you.

Hardcase, pulling out a frying pan: It'll make a nice meal!

Kix, giving the mouse cheese: You deserve a treat, little guy.

Echo, gasping: It's Ratatouille!

Fives: His name is Remi, dummy.

Rex: ...I was going to say to just trap it and throw it out the window... what is wrong with you people.

Rex: So, did everyone learn their lesson?

Fives: No.

Echo: I did not.

Hardcase: I may have actually forgotten one.

Kix: Also no.

Jesse: Oh good, neither did I.

Rex: *Exhausted sigh*

Echo: Fives and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-

Fives: Sentences.

Echo: Don't interrupt me.

Fives: If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.

Echo: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.

Hardcase: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.

Dogma: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

Fives: Don’t worry, I know exactly what I’m doing. Everything is going to be fine!

Tup: How can you still say that?

Fives: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

Kix: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail

Jesse: No it’s my fault, I shouldn’t’ve used my one phone call to prank call the police

Echo: Remember! Curiosity killed the cat!

Fives: Yes, but you forget that satisfaction brought it back. So yes, Hardcase, go find out if that thing can catch fire!

Echo: You're a bad influence.

Fives: And you don't know your sayings.

501st & 212th food headcanons

The 501st troops find out about their General and Commander’s food preferences when they’re stranded on some planet and the rations are running low, so one night when they’re all eating what little they have left, Anakin and Ahsoka both leave camp to ‘go get dinner’. Anakin comes back ten minutes later with a massive handful of beetles and are just eating them live. Ahsoka comes back in another twenty minutes, completely COVERED in blood and dragging behind her a whole kriffing animal carcass which she proceeds to rip a limb off and start eating raw. Naturally, she and Anakin pay out on eachother for their food choices. Obi-Wan is used to it by now, also since he was actually aware that Torgrutas are carnivores. The clones however are completely horrified.

The clones, on the other hand, are used to ration bars but when they can, the majority have a taste for traditional Mandalorian food, aka ‘if it doesn’t have enough spice to rip your tonsils out, it doesn’t have enough flavor.’

Everyone assumed that Obi-Wan had a pretty soft pallet when it comes to spice as he always just quietly eats his seemingly normal serve. But when someone else (probably Waxer) steals some of his food, he starts coughing and everyone finds this terribly amusing.

Obi-Wan just smiles and keeps eating like it’s nothing.

This is why I love the clone wars fandom. Not only because the show is a masterpiece, but because it is believable that Hardcase would do this. After all, it is canon that the 501st is filled with chaotic dumbasses.

Hardcase found some cones in storage, and now he's a cone trooper!

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