Asmodeus: this is literally the most boring party ive ever been to. can we leave already?
MC: Asmo, it’s my grandmother’s funeral
Mammon: ive only had a pact with this human for a day and a half but if anything happened to them, i would kill everyone in this room and then myself
Chongyun: oh, auntie. you’re late
Shenhe: yes i’m sorry. i was doing… things
Xingqiu: SHE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS
me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit
mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters
me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU
Xiao: had it not been for the laws of this land, i would have slaughtered you
Childe: all i did was ask where the bathroom was
Xiao: thank you for engaging in the mortifying ordeal of being known so that i may partake in the euphoric experience of knowing you
Venti: do you practice this shit or do you come up with it on the spot
MC: let’s not forget that one time you literally killed me
Belphegor: how many times am i gonna have to apologize for that
MC: once would be nice
Belphegor: no
Daniel: I love one brother and his name is Sean Diaz <3
Sean: How did you say that emoji out loud
Sean: Just get out of my room
Curtis: Nathan was a dick, a moron, an idiot, but most importantly, he was a twat. He will be missed.
Nathan: Stop telling people I’m dead.
Curtis: Sometimes we can still hear his voice.
Paimon: do you think you could take Albedo?
Kaeya: fuck yeah…
Kaeya: oh you mean like in a fight?
here for a good time AND a long time because legally im not allowed to die[23 years on this mortal plane]
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