Right Now I Realized Yet Again That I Don't Really Know Whom Could I Write About Being Nervous Or Anything.

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I see myself having a family eventually. Not now though. I can't spend a lot of time with people, it's tiring. I am so peaceful right now during quarantine.

This makes me wonder if I will ever feel sourceful (if you can say it like these) to have someone for a long time in my life. Especially children. Will I ever feel like I won't be completely out of energy after just some time?

Okay so I recently watched OFMD season 1 and I just kept constantly hearing Ed's laugh in my ears until I realised it was NOT Ed's laugh.

It took me a minute to figure out but I finally remembered. And... This makes so much sense. It's literally them.

I just thought again that this "I don't hit women rule" is shit. It only means "I won't hit you until I'm really angry as hell because I think you're weak and I prefer to use my anger to hurt people physically". It just means that you're not that good in controlling yourself. People must be treated with respect no matter if they are or aren't strong enough to hit you back. It says "women are weak" and "I am quick to judge and get physical" at once. Why do you think that being fragile must be what stops you from being aggressive?

This thought is not complete but it is important.

I am so tired

Can someone explain how this app fucking works?

I am SICK AND TIRED OF SEEING POSTS ABOUT STRANGER THINGS

What can I do to stop it? I can't skip them

Why the fuck did tumblr decide that i want to see anything about this show

God have mercy on my poor mind

I am very tired.

I don't feel like I have friends.

I have people I talk to, we hang out. But I don't LIKE them. I don't like them the way I want to. Am I dumb? Am i doing stupid shit? Is this how it's supposed to be? Is this the extent to which other people like their friends?

Is what I want even possible?

So I saw people talk about grey star jacket that Ed's wearing on the picture with Jackie.

And when I watched analysis of the trailer I noticed that Buttons is wearing the same jacket (and i didn't see anyone talking about it). So it might be a uniform or they were wearing the same thing at different points of time.

Also we saw Stede wearing a red cravat. And some people assumed it was Ed's cloth (maybe I'm wrong and I just thought that for a moment).

But I noticed that during the fight scene the guy who was punched by Stede is wearing a similar cravat.

Oh my goodness

hey remember when taika posted this

I hope good things happen in 2025. I wish I would find a friend. I wish interesting things would happen.

I wish. For that. Which is unrealistic and dumb. Wow. I'm not going to say what it is.

A friend. Please. God, please. It's like I didn't ever try. It's not my fault I don't like them. I shouldn't take up someone's time if I don't like them.

What should I do?

I guess I'm at this stage now. Huh.

Why do I even need friends? I can just think to myself things that I want to tell someone.

I can think things I want to say. I can think them through nice and hard. Think everything. I guess that's the only way.

I don't feel close to anyone. I tried to force myself. It just doesn't fucking work.