I Have This Friend Who I Met In School A Couple Years Back Who Always Wears A Fedora.

My half Irish, Celtic self: :0 *Neuron Activation*

Unironically I do really love everything potato lol :3

hello,

potato fries

potato chips

potato wedges

baked potato

loaded baked potato

curly fries (potato)

steak fries (potato)

tater tots (potato)

mashed potatoes

hash browns (potato)

gnocchi (potato) (advanced potato)

please let me know if I'm going too fast

Ok, I’m immortal. I’ve fallen off so many cliffs that my adrenaline doesn’t even kick in anymore, I’ve accidentally ingested 5X the lethal dose of caffeine, I’ve accidentally drank bleach and wasn’t even nauseous (I said ‘2/10, wouldn’t try again’), Ive lost so much blood that I should’ve been at the ER but was just fine and cleaned it up, I’ve been hit by a semi truck (only like 25MPH tho, I still got knocked pretty far) and got up and was just really dizzy, etc.

I thought it was luck, but the lethal doses scratched that out. I thought it was plot armor, that was obviously out the window pretty quick. I thought it was one of the Eldritch deities I have the favor of (don’t ask, I’m not really sure how it happened either.) they didn’t do it. I was so confused… until I remembered

I always say ‘I LIVE OUT OF PURE SPITE FOR REALITY’

I CAN LITERALLY INFLUENCE REALITY IF I PUT IN ENOUGH EFFORT BUT I DIDNT REALIZE I COULD JUST FORCE SOME RULES OF REALITY TO NOT APPLY TO ME

IVE BEEN LITERALLY IMMORTAL OUT OF SPITE SINCE I WAS NINE- HOW DID THIS HAPPEN????

All Bluetooth headphones either make beeps to indicate stuff or have a passive aggressive Asian woman that says things. ‘Low battery, charge up’ I KNOW, I SEE THE PERCENTAGE ON MY PHONE-

I think the reason that it’s always that voice has to do with voice synthesis, since it was first made in Japan, it would be best adapted to Asian accents and stuff.

My brain when trying to list achievements in my life for a fake resume for a class assignment

Just watched the Hatsune Miku movie in theaters, it was the most formative experience of my life. People in the theater were commenting and bantering with each other (me included). After it was over and people stood up, there was a Miku cosplayer who everyone was like “YEAAH” to, and someone had a Miku plushie and the experience was super wholesome and awesome. Thank You, to Miku and all the other people in the theater, for one of the most amazing and influential moments of my life.

My mom’s huge fluffy & Chonky cat:

-meows when hungry

-meows when wants attention

-meows when sad

My TINY ASS DWARF TUXEDO cat:

-meows when hungry

-meows when jumping

-meows when picked up

-meows when put down

-meows when angry

-meows when sad

-meows when happy

-meows when wanting attention

-meows while GETTING attention

-meows to say hi

-meows to say bye

-meows when sleepy

-LOUD AS FUCK WHEN EATING (she snurffles so loud while inhaling her food 💀)

-meows when zoomy

-meows at my leopard gecko (they somehow hate EVERY OTHER PET EXCEPT FOR EACHOTHER WHEN THEYRE THE ONES WHO SHOUKD HATE EACH ITHER THE MOST???)

Conclusion:

This tiny shit has a meow that sounds like she has smoker lung and she’s LOUD AS FUCK

I love her tho (๑╹ω╹๑ )

Partially me :3

I’m Parafeminine (mostly woman)

And the other part of my gender is

(It’s dumb, I know but we don’t judge)

👹👁️E N D E R M A N G E N D E R 💜✨

Xenogender Vaporeon pls :3 <3

tropical fish

YIPPEE YIPPEEE YIPPEEE-

*slips, faceplants*

…

*gets back up and continues like nothing happened*

YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEE

(you need to view the image or you'll just like the post)

Since people liked it i made a toy that works on the computer: https://nick-nonya.itch.io/trampoline-toy Have fun!

You ever look at your genetics and go “how the ever living FUCK did this happen” because I am directly descended from the strongest Old Ireland clan and the second strongest Scottish clan… ON OPPOSITE SIDES??? I’m double Celtic royalty-

I’m so stupidly tall, and then I’m also pretty sure I’m developing gigantism… I’m 5’11” STILL GROWING AND THEN THERES GIGANTISM?? I don’t wanna be like 8 feet tall bro- a normal house is already a lot and a custom built house would cost my kidney-

The only reason I look like I’m not starving is that extra mass isn’t body fat, no no no, that’s pure MUSCLE-

Ya know how most little kids are chihuahuas, because they don’t have strength for their rage? WELL I WAS A DAMNED TASMANIAN DEVIL BECAUSE I SOMEHOW KNEW A BUNCH OF WEAK POINTS AND FIGHTING TACTICS WITHOUT LEARNING???? Was I James Bond in a past life or some shit???

My molars are sharp…molars as in THE HERBIVORE TEETH. I’ve tried looking it up and didn’t get an answer, I EVEN ASKED MY DENTIST AND THEY COULDNT COME UP WITH A SURE FIRE ANSWER EITHER??

I have that weird mutation that makes it so I can consume other peoples blood without worry. How do I know this? One time my bestie scraped her elbow and when I was looking at it my autism brain made me automatically lick it- I was like “did- did I just eat your blood-??” And she was like “yeah- I think so-“ and we both proceeded to burst out laughing.

My favorite part of my fucked genetics: MY JOINTS! I simultaneously have joint pain and am hyper flexible- (my jaw can also unhinge without damage but ignoring that-) so sometimes I bend 2 degrees and my spine dissipates, other times I can CONTORT TO FIT INTO A FUCKING CLOTHING DRYER???? my bestie knows that and the fact that it’s my favorite hide and seek spot and we always cackle at people’s faces when they FINALLY find me- 😭

Update: I asked for an estimate of how many he has, apparently he counted, and he has 63 FEDORAS- 💀

I have this friend who I met in school a couple years back who always wears a fedora.

He’s fruity as hell (and openly gay)

And he’s the only person I know who can actually rock a fedora.

One day I asked him sorta as a joke “Do you just have, like, a whole dedicated collection of fedoras?” AND HE DOES

This isn’t just fedora all the time NO, He has AT LEAST 1 FEDORA FOR EVERY HOLIDAY (2 ST Patrick’s, at least 4 Christmas themed, Valentine’s Day, Halloween, Etc) AND HE CHANGES THE COLORS BASED ON SEASONS (more neutral tones in winter like grey and beige, Colorful ones in spring, earthy tones in fall, and it’s safe to assume he has some for summer too) HE HAS A FEDORA FOR EVERYTHING- 😭😭

But yeah, he’s really chill, and everyone now knows/realized that he has 40+ fedoras 💀