I Want To Talk About Using AAC In Public. This Post Wont Have Much About My Personal Experiences, It'll

Night of the Living Dead (1990) dir. Tom Savini

I truely adore this...❤ he deserved so much better when he was alive. He is a true legend in my eyes.

I was thinking the other day and this thought came to me. When I finally decide to do tattoos , at least one of them is going to be Vincent van Gogh related, as my ode to him ( one of my favourite painters ) , cuz he only thought that he is the only person in the whole world that will forever love paintings that he made and no one else will do that … well I will carry one until my last day on this Earth so think again Vincent . I truly hope that he is in better place now and that he actually became one of his oh so adored stars that made him happy so lovingly much.

Ranting

I feel really sad lately. Feel almost alone because I feel like no one really understands me. I try to make friends online, but most people just blame me for things out of my control or just get upset with me because I struggle to take jokes or anything. I have two friends I really care about and I should be happy about that, but when they are busy I just feel even more alone. Feel like I'm almost dependent on other people which is bad and I need to fix that. I think I need to find happiness in myself, but it's so hard when you live with so much guilt and trauma. Feels like my own mind and skin is filthy and can't get clean so I crave other people to be around so I can take my mind off of it. I'm sorry to rant about this, I just don't know what else to do and wanted to get it off my chest and throw into void. I just feel scared to talk about my issues sometimes cause what if I word it wrong and someone gets mad at me? I'm sorry if this seems like a pity me or something, I just want to curl up in a ball and cry because feel sad, alone, and like I'm a bad person.

04,08,2024

counting helps

My tips for living an organized, feminine life.

If you are a coffee or tea drinker, make sure to invest in whitening toothpaste or white strips.

Floss, it defines your teeth and improves your smile.

Moisturize your skin. I never realized how much of a difference it made until I did it for the first time and someone close to me mentioned how much more awake and lively I looked that day.

If you aren't big on jewelry, at least wear earrings. They can be clip-ons or actual earrings, the point is that earrings elevate any look and make you look put together. A subtle but profound difference.

If you find that a full face of makeup is too time-consuming, invest in a brow gel, mascara and lash curler, concealer for under your eyes, and lipstick that can double as blush. These few things make a huge difference in looking put together.

If you struggle with lipstick because it doesn't go on smoothly or emphasizes the cracks in your lips, invest in a lip scrub or gently rub your lips with a washcloth or your finger after a shower to get rid of any dry skin and smooth them out.

If you're looking to change your wardrobe I suggest one piece dresses over a skirt and shirt combo. It's a small difference, but finding one throw over that goes with your dress as much easier than finding a throw over and a top that match.

Invest in a purse large enough to carry around everything that you have with you on a daily basis. It looks much more put together to have one satchel that holds all of your belongings, than to be struggling constantly to hold everything.

Keep a planner in your purse that is color coded by the following categories: work, personal, chores, and family. This allows you to make sure that you are allocating adequate time to each of these four pillars without neglecting the others.

Find a signature nail color, or two, and keep your nails neatly trimmed and polished. Freshen up your polish every few days.

Find your signature scent — this applies to deodorants, body mists, and perfumes. You don't need more than one of each, just find your favorite and stick to it. It removes the complication of having to choose later.

In a world of constantly chasing the next new thing — find the hygiene products that work for your hair and skin type and stick to them. This takes away from the constant need for something ne.

Create a skincare routine — even if it is just a face wash and moisturizer. Use this routine for your face, neck, and hands as these places are most prone to signs of aging.

There are so many things I probably forgot to list, but feel free to reblog with your own tips!

People underestimate how much it fucks you up to be subtly excluded as a kid. I would try to talk to my classmates and be met with disinterest or annoyance. The one friend I had, who I clung to and nodded along to his every word, had other friends he liked just as much or more. And his other friends didn’t care for me at all.

I look back at pictures from the time and see how separated I was from them. I remember knowing I was different. I remember posing questions about the world to the girls playing next to me and realizing that they had never asked the same ones to themselves. That the ways we thought couldn’t be more different.

I kept myself amused with my own fanatical stories and musings in my head. I would wander the playground on a circular path, imagining a friend and being sorely disappointed when it didn’t feel as real as I’d hoped.

There was a bubble separating me from everyone else, thin, and nearly invisible, but with a pearly sheen you could catch under the right conditions. I knew it was there, they knew it was there, and it changed me

Wait what's a buildings fire evacuation plan if you aren't supposed to use the elevator to get down

The last day of Pompeii by Karl Bryullov

one thing about orpheus and eurydice is you guys are all like “i’m different i wouldnt turn to look at her” because you are all familiar with the story of orpheus and eurydice. but orpheus wasnt familiar with the story because he was in it lol.

Overload...

One of the best things about college to me is just showing up early to get a good seat away from people and pick where I sit. I love being able to sit away from the flickering bright white lights that loom over the students, yet being able to sit away from windows and distractions that might interfere with my studies. With all these great things soon comes misery though...the seat I pick always ends up having someone trying to sit near me so I have to set my backpack on the chair next to me and sit in the corner if possible. I fear people might think I'm rude, but the noises of others clicking away on computers, talking to their neighbors, smells, and any small noises or motions they make just tend to bother my sensory issues. I have severe sensory issues due to my autism and sensory processing disorder so I go into a meltdown almost every time I show up to class. I love school and learning as it's my special interest and always has been. The ability for me to expand my knowledge in any way possible makes me happy and want to flap my hands around. I just wish people were more considerate and I didn't have to wear headphones just to exist in normal environments. School is great, yet extremely hard and I always miss classes sometimes. I tried online school, but it's hard for me to focus and stay attentive in class. I'd rather sleep through it instead which is a huge issue. I don't know, I just feel as if I need to let out some of my issues and get them off my chest in order to sit through this next class. Sorry if I come off as rude, I don't mean to. I just am struggling so much lately to just exist. I want to curl up in a ball and hide away from society until people acknowledge that those with disabilities can and will be in professional settings too so we need to make things to accommodate them.