Dear Allies, 

October 11 is National Coming Out Day! Happy day to all those in or out of the closet - you are valid no matter what. I’m grateful we have a day to recognize these milestones, both in our lives and as members of the LGBT+ community.

 (P.S. I know I’ve posted like three times in less than a week, but allow me to lower your expectations to once a week updates. For my sanity, il mio amore)

In the past few weeks, turning on the news every day is another sensation of “Yep. Been there, done that. What else is new?” 

I’m talking about sexual assault. All the recent publicity and endless accusations from women - what do you think we’ve been putting up with since the beginning of time? I’m grateful for the actual acknowledgement - it’s about time women were heard, and our society started working toward a safer future. But I can’t help feeling bitter that it’s taken this long. No matter where she was, what she did, or what she looked like, every woman from every time period has had to fear the kind of behavior. Maybe there was less risk than in other places, but across centuries and miles and nations, it has been a collective fear. It isn’t our fault, our actions, our clothes, it’s because we live in a society where women have less of a worth. In a society that has made us have less of a worth.  

I often wonder what actually goes through the mind of the man assaulting or raping a woman. We say we don’t want it, we tell you no, but still you keep coming. It’s frightening. It’s disturbing. The behavior being broadcasted recently makes us feel unsafe and confused. Why would you do something to someone, when your actions are clearly having a negative impact on the person? Why is it so difficult to grasp the basic human indecency it takes to not heed other’s reactions, and therefore the severity of this problem? You wouldn’t hit a little kid when he clearly didn’t welcome the action. But you would do something much more intimate with a woman? 

And that’s just the thing: “with a woman.” Sexual assault and rape everywhere should be a no-no. It shouldn’t just be about women and our rights - but it is, and that makes the battle that much harder, hence my statement from earlier. Women and girls everywhere are told to change their behavior - their own, not that of their attacker! - to avoid being violated in such a way. We are taught that it is our fault - not that of a world where the wrong lessons are taught to children. Such societal messages are exactly why there are ignorant, arrogant men in power, and why they make the mistakes women are blamed for. A cycle that must be broken.   

We can blame men all we want - and some definitely deserve it. But what the most recent accusations show, the “newest” revelation is that our society is to blame. Women have less of a say, but men are also held to such low expectations. We must work together - men and women, assaulted and accused - to raise the next generation so that they’ll make the world safer and more equal for all. Let’s teach them to do better than we have.

I can officially say that my history class is everything I’ve ever wanted in life. For homework last night, we read an article about how hand-written notes enhance learning and help students analyze and remember content, verses the less helpful effects of note taking with a laptop. We split into groups of four and discussed things we noticed, disliked, and were intrigued over from the article, later writing observations on the board. Though I wasn’t able to talk, the whole time I was thinking about my own theories and observations about what technology has done to our generation. 

With the Internet, wifi, and the world of updates, social media, and handy gadgets upon us, today’s citizens are more connected, involved, and consumed with information than ever before. It definitely has it’s benefits - efficiency, safety, and knowledge among them. We can call, text, learn something new with the click of a button, have the world only a few types away. But today, studies are constantly popping up about how what you do on a screen effect you in negative ways. I often think about times before typing and Google existed: a time of writing, book research, correspondence and script, because the only options were pen and paper. And no distractions! How many more blog posts could I have finished during the hours I spent watching YouTube? Were the eras before the present day tech boom smarter and less cluttered? Obviously the world today has it’s beauty and benefits verses time of the past, but sometimes I still wonder.   

My history teacher was going through what we’d written on the board, briefly discussing each before she moved on to ask us: “In three words, tell me how you think our world is going right now?” I straight-up gave a thumbs down sign. Other classmates provided adjectives - “divided, angry, messy”. “Okay, why do you think so?” She called on me, and I said, “I think a big issue today is climate change and global warming in general. It is a very global issue that people aren’t doing enough about, when it comes to who gets what and who does what, and I think our generation is very much at the cusp of this issue. Because, going back to the technology topic, our generation has the most opportunities, but we also have the most responsibility, and that’s a very real thing in regard to this problem.” My teacher responded with a take-apart of what I’d said about “who gets what and who does what” adding on with “and who doesn’t get what.” She agreed with me, concluding with a statement about how humanity has been through rough patches and didn’t think they’d get through it, but they did. Sometimes I just need to hear something that hopeful.   

She went on to show us a slide show of covers from The Economist magazine. All the covers had pictures and titles about one of four countries: Russia, China, Great Britain, and the USA. Specifically, how Russia and China are becoming more powerful and economically prosperous, and how the contrasting Western countries are declining in strength. My history teacher said that everything with history has one bigger theme, a story, if you will. We told her that the story for these images was a rising East and falling West. She explained that for us, as Westerners, it comes as a moral crisis in our eyes, that these countries that don’t share all of our American values are becoming more powerful. How are these governments, without all our liberties of democracy, capitalism, free trade of goods and services, and freedom of speech, rising and supporting their people? Why are we, citizens of the greatest country on Earth, watching our government decline in contrast to more “corrupt” governments? What’s going wrong? 

I really love my history class. I know this didn’t tackle one set issue or topic, but I found these discussions to be very interesting. I hope something in this gives you a different outlook on the world today, sparks a discussion with you and another. Have a nice weekend, everyone.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but don’t be racist during the COVID-19 scare.

My mom’s friend was out shopping when a (very not asian) woman came up and started berating her for not wearing a mask. Asian businesses in my area are suffering. Some people are refusing to interact with anyone who looks Asian.

Asian-Americans have been through racism already. We’re fucking sick of it. We’re not flea-infested rats; we are actual people who most likely have never been to China.

And if you’re not Asian and see someone being racist and giving a poor schmuck a hard time for having squinty eyes and dark hair, tell them to knock it off and they’re being a butt.

NON ASIANS PLEASE REBLOG

OK. It’s time to get this done.

Hi everyone. It’s been a while. 

I started this blog in September of 2017. I stopped posting in March 2018. Now i’m back, after 9-odd months of figuring stuff out. 

I guess I needed to get myself together, to eliminate some pressure from my life. I’ll say it, last spring was a really rough time for me, and I just couldn’t keep this blog up anymore. I took the summer to recollect myself, and the autumn to enjoy my new life. And it is pretty new - new school, new friends, new schedule. I’m glad to say I’m doing much, much better. 

And during this time, I didn’t think much about this blog and its purpose at all. I was still writing all the time. I was still thinking about the same things I’ve written about here. But last year, the pressure was getting to me - to be clear, pressure I was putting on myself. I wanted to put my all into this blog - and I genuinely enjoyed doing so - but I guess it just became too much.   

This is a long post. It’s written by someone you don’t know and have never met, so you probably won’t spend 10 minutes of your time reading it. I don’t really mind. But I’m writing this for three reasons: to explain myself, to advise you, and to make a super rough draft of a mission statement for this blog. That sounds a little dramatic. But I think it fits the goal here, actually: To explain, to advise, and make some super rough drafts of crap.

If you are reading this, you’re probably one of my much beloved followers. Thank you so much for all your support and (dare I say it) interest. I didn’t forget about you these past nine months, but I also learned not to forget about myself. It takes guts to put yourself out there on the Scary InternetTM, and I’ve learned that if I wanna do it right, I’ve gotta be thinking about my own well-being. I only have to do this if I want to, not for the sake of strangers. No shade - it’s just me being honest. 

And I guess that’s where the advice come in: if you want to put yourself and your work out there, whether that’s here or anywhere else, it shouldn’t be just for others. It has to be for you, too.   

And now for the mission statement part, or a very rough draft of it: the purpose of this blog is to share with you my opinions, ideas, values, and writing. That’s why I do it for me. What I do for you (hopefully) is inform and teach, about issues I care about and that I hope you care about too. Social justice, environmentalism, history, sociocultural issues; sometimes just poems or stories. 

Someone, upon hearing about my blog, told me I was a social critic. I prefer the term ’social observer’. I think that, in a way, that is my responsibility as a writer. It’s also my responsibility as an activist. Your craft, gift, passion, whatever you want to call it should be shared. It deserves to be shared. So have at it. 

There will be more posts coming up in the next few weeks. But for now, thank you, everybody. Happy (almost) New Year!

So, today’s Valentine’s Day, and I asked myself, what do I want my fellow aromantic kids to know? 

I want them to know that there’s nothing wrong with who they are. They’ve been told that there’s only one way to love, but that’s a lie. So they don’t fit inside a box, a box of flowers and pink hearts and stuffed teddy bears? So what? They’ve got broader feelings in their hearts, feelings that don’t have to be limited, or cookie-cutter perfect, or as recognizable as holding hands. I want them to know that you don’t need to date someone to show them you care. You don’t need to date anyone, in fact: you can just love everyone equally, and that’s OK. We’re told that we need someone to be complete, but here’s a secret: we don’t need other people. We want people, maybe, but we don’t need them. Not in that way.   

I want them to know that their color is green. On the color wheel, green is the opposite of red; red is the color of romance, and we are aromantic.   

I want them to know that they aren’t ‘missing out.’ All forms of love are beautiful, vibrant, exquisite, and kind. They’re kind.   

I’m writing from the heart, guys, from this small green heart that didn’t feel whole until I realized there was nothing wrong with me. There’s nothing wrong with me. I’m just a kid who wants to be me, to be free and love freely. Freely, in colors that aren’t just pink and red and ‘we’re an item’ colored. I want all of you to feel that same love; just shout it from the rooftops. You’re valid. You’re beautiful. I know it’s complicated, I know it’s not all clean edges and perfect form. But we’re gonna be okay. I just know it. We’re gonna be okay. 

Green hearts, everybody. Peace.

Prompt 1 February 17&18: Discovery 

I started questioning my sexuality two and half years ago, and for a while I was experimenting with different labels and words to describe myself. Figuring out I was asexual was pretty easy, but my romantic orientation continued to confuse me - sometimes it still does. I knew for certain I fell on the aromantic spectrum when a close friend of mine developed a crush on me, and we started to ‘date’. It became pretty clear to me that there was a problem, and it wasn’t my friend. Two weeks into our relationship, I had to break it off, and I explained all my feelings and discomforts to my friend. Ever since then, I’ve been exploring my aromantic-ness and finding new ways to describe and express it. 

I don’t ever want to date someone, or even kiss them - like a real kiss. I don’t know how I know this for certain, but I do. I never want to say about my relationship with someone “we’re an item. don’t touch us.” Staying single is what works for me. I’m a really affectionate, emotionally open person, but I’ve learned that it’s hard for me to show love for someone without leading them on. I’ve been aware of people developing feelings for me that they think I might reciprocate, but I don’t. It has hurt some friendships and my own way of expressing myself. But I’m just gonna focus on being me, and loving people exactly the way I want to.

“Words have the power to change the world, and that realization inspires me everyday.” ~Amanda Gorman

I hope this makes you feel better.

It wasn’t your fault. You weren’t in the wrong place at the wrong time, wearing the wrong clothes in front of the wrong people, living the wrong person in the wrong life.

It wasn’t because you were born to suffer through that, or because something about you seems to say they have a right, because they don’t.

You have the right to your body, your mind, your lips, your breasts, the space between your hips. You have the right to the word no, to your defensive fists, to your shoving hands, to your screams and sobs for help. You have the right to let those tears fall, to let yourself mourn  for something that is not normal, nor justified, nor appropriate, nor kind, nor acceptable, nor right. You are your own person, and I wish you all the happiness, acceptance, and peace you are infinitely deserving of.

You are not wrong. They are wrong, as are those who taught them such behavior. They are wrong in their actions, and you have the right to call them out on it. You have the right to speak about it, to not feel ashamed or at fault. You have the right to find people who will listen to you, respect you for your pains, and love you in the way that makes you comfortable.

It is not normal. It is not okay. It is not because of you or your gender or the situation. It is them, and they are wrong, and always do what makes you comfortable and happy in the future.

Seek help. Seek support. Seek love. Seek confidence and comfort, in all aspects of yourself and your life. You deserve it, and you’ll find people who care. Someone loves you.

You will persevere. You will wake up one morning and realize that you can go on. You will count your blessings in the morning, list your aspirations at noon, and remember your virtues at night. You have something for all three. Read. Breathe. Sleep. Clear your mind of negativity. Smile. You have so much to live for, and we’ll be rooting for you.

Look at your reflection. Put your hands on your hips. Say to yourself, in whatever language or wording or way, “There is something glorious on the other side of the storm.”

Stay strong, my beautiful friend. You are deserving of so much more than they ever showed you. Don’t forget your strengths and talents in the time you’ll need them most.

Have a good day. I admire your ability to rise above the stormclouds.

Happy International Women’s Day! Every March 8, the world celebrates the social, economic, and political achievements of women everywhere. For centuries, women around the world have become heroines of all shapes and sizes, reshaping their communities and achieving their goals. For over a hundred years, international communities have recognized this day as a time to honor their accomplishments and fight for gender equality. Today is the day to fight for women’s rights, to global equity, education, and dignity. So what history will you make, on March 8, 2018?