I Think The Existential Dread That I Feel When Thinking About Living Forever A La 17776 Is Moreso One

i think the existential dread that i feel when thinking about living forever a la 17776 is moreso one wherein all of the things i love dearly and am excited about are all subconsciously motivated by the fact that i am going to die someday. my whole entire life is framed in such a way where not dying would mean that my objectives in life would become meaningless.

and i think that's super interesting, because this sort of story forces me to reframe my thinking--maybe as i am going about planning my life, i should think about it from the perspective of "i will literally never run out of time." because, really, the eighty years we have on this earth can feel simultaneously infinite and extremely small. but there's SO much time that we spend dreading the possibility that we don't have time for anything, when the reality is that we DO.

also, it makes me think about how excited i would be to be granted infinite time to explore everything on this earth that I'd want to. like I'd seriously become a 100% runner in real life. I'd do EVERYTHING. and when i think abt that, i really CAN become envious that the ppl of 17776, whose only enemy is boredom. so my dread quickly turns into deep desire, and i feel like those can often feel like the same exact things.