Mango & Sticky Rice By Khristina Cruz

‘Our Town’s Libraries’ which I drew for the @nytimes recently… Speaking of libraries, I have a new book out titled REVENGE OF THE LIBRARIANS and I am visiting Brooklyn NY, Philadelphia PA, and Columbus OH with it in the next week. Visit tomgauld.com for details…

Writing has two stages:

1. you can't stop

2. you can't start to save your life

Apparently there's an evolutionary theory that the reason why Africa has so much wild big-ass megafauna while the big-ass megafauna on all the other continents went extinct is because they evolved right beside humans, and knew us well enough to not get hunted into extinction.

So while everything from giant koalas to giant sloths barely had the time to think "what the fuck is that" before getting pierced by a spear and getting their bone marrow gently fed to babies and the toothless elderly, Africa had elephants who had all the time in the world to learn to tell apart human languages and teach the next generations of their herd which human sounds mean that this tribe won't hurt you, but humans who make this kind of sounds are a danger. And hippos learned to conclude "I think I'll fuck up this two-legged weird shit on sight."

Going to a library with someone you love and sitting in a corner with your head propped up on their shoulder while you both are reading books in peace and calm is the most intimately wholesome thing ever.

Pengabdi Setan (2017)

Pengabdi Setan, also known as Satan's Slave, is an Indonesian horror movie written and directed by Joko Anwar who also worked on other Indonesian horror films such as Perempuan Tanah Jahanam (Woman of the Damned Land aka Impetigore, 2019) and Ratu Ilmu Hitam (The Queen of Black Magic, 2019).

In the film, the matriarch who fell ill more than 3 years ago passed away under mysterious circumstances, setting a chain of horrific motions haunting her children Rini (Tara Basro), Tony (Endy Arfian), Bondi (Nasar Anuz), and Ian (Muhammad Adhiyat). Set in the early 1980s, Joko Anwar sets the mood with dim lighting and plot twists, evoking a building sense of suspense that climaxes into a horrific peak involving fertility cults and zombified pocongs.

Aside from the riveting storyline and awesome cast and crew, one thing that stuck with me is the soundtrack. Throughout the entire movie, snippets of Kelam Malam, performed by The Spouse and introduced as the matriarch's hit song early in the film, further set the mood playing throughout the movie with its haunting melody and suggestive lyrics.

The easter egg ending features Darminah who, for those who don't know, appeared in the 1980 version of Pengabdi Setan making this movie a remake, though some suggest it is also a prequel given that the 2017 setting was 1981 while the 1980 setting was 1982. Regardless, the seductive ending scene set against Diwajahmu Kulihat Bulan by Sam Saimun also set the mood for the sequel which we will see soon this year in 2022.

Happy Hauntings!

reasons.

A physicist, a mathematician, and an engineer are all found guilty of treason and sentenced to death by guillotine.

The priest reads them their last rites, then the king orders the executioner to kill the physicist.

The executioner offers the physicist two choices: would he like a hood on or off, and would he like to be executed face up or face down. The physicist replies, “I spent my whole life studying the heavens. I would like to face the sky, with the hood on like night!”

The executioner positions the physicist and drops the blade… … and it stops inches from the physicists’ neck.

The priest cries, “It’s a sign from God! This man is innocent! Set him free!”, so the king pardons him, and orders the mathematician executed next.

The executioner offers the mathematician the same choices: would he like a hood on or off, and would he like to be executed face up or face down. The mathematician replies, “They all result in an equivalent state, but hood off face down is the most elegant solution!”

The executioner positions the mathematician and drops the blade… … and it stops inches from the mathematician’s neck.

The priest cries, “It’s a sign from God! This man is innocent! Set him free!”, so the king pardons him, and orders the engineer executed next.

The executioner offers the engineer the same choices: would he like a hood on or off, and would he like to be executed face up or face down. The engineer replies, “I have always loved machines, and there is no more elegant a killing machine than the guillotine. I will spend my final moments marveling in its beauty!”

The executioner positions the engineer and, as he’s about to drop the blade, the engineer shouts:

“I see the problem!”

Feeling rather ouija-bored myself these days...

The Nashville Tennessean, Nashville, Tennessee, April 7, 1920