Covid, Hormones, Fungus, And Food.

The Scales of Empathy and Narcissism.

Having a strong sense of self is really important. Not having it means getting easily swept away in other peoples intentions, and not realising until later on.

What well meaning “trust your gut” and “engage your empathy” people do not understand is that when empathy is overly high, a sense of self is lacking, and there is no “trust your gut”, there is only the other person, making it impossible to feel or see what is going on in real time.

It is for this reason that I created this simple scale, which I call The Scales of Empathy and Narcissism. I like the idea of balance, but would like to point out that this tool would be used in a non obsessive way as something to refer to in the need of self reflection or understanding a situation. Put simply, it is a self development tool.

Each side are the total extremes of what they are, with a nice, easy going balance found somewhere in the middle. 

                Empathy      <---- balanced -----> Narcissism

                Over Caring <---- balanced ----> Under Caring

                Oneness      <---- balanced ----> Individuality

                Humility       <---- balanced ----> Arrogance

Using this basic scale on an inward basis means that I can see where I myself might be tilting towards less than optimal living, and when observing somebody else, or someone that I am just not quite sure about, the scale serves to remind me of the real world dangers of continuing any interaction with that person, or even business and establishment.

I find it is a good tool for looking at my own sense of self and understanding where my habitual tilt is so that I could understand more, and recognise who I really am as opposed to what any serial projectors might be saying.

The real key to all of the extremes on the scale is in the first one. By finding a comfortable place of balance that is suited to who you are as an individual person, an optimal way of living can be found.. after all, too much of anything can be a bad thing.

Stay excellent :-)

© Saturday 19th Feb 2022

Discrimination: Traumatic Background Does Not = Automatic Narcissism.

Not always.

It is a mistaken judgement to say that those who came from troubled parentage and backgrounds, where attachment to caregivers and parents might have been lacking, are those who become narcissists.

There are many people around the globe who come from troubled backgrounds yet are the most empathetic, caring, loving people that can be met, and I think that to tarnish everybody from a poor background is a marker of not only extremism, but unprofessional-ism in their field.

Take those growing up in poor circumstances, not every child from the same household will always be produced in the same way. They are each unique individuals who will learn in their own ways within the environment that they find themselves in, they are not one person, and not an extension of the caregivers or parents that they have been landed with.

Some do indeed come out as narcissists, even psychopaths, that is the way of the world, but there are also many vastly empathic, over caring, over responsible people that come from such backgrounds who have been highly tuned and trained to feed narcissistic needs. I am one of them (recovered).

The last thing that people who come from troubled backgrounds need to hear, is that they have been tarnished with the same brush as their abusers, that they are narcissists because of an abusive childhood. The very act of doing this is an abusive one itself, one that I understand is called discrimination.

Covid Findings, a Lay Person’s Account.

Hello,

I have popped back to share my own personal experience, and to help heal myself after watching a snippet of a recent BBC Question Time television programme, which I felt only served to try to shame people who were making their own free choices as a human being.

Just a small snippet, where there first guest did not appear to be able to articulate well what he was saying, and had made an unfortunate mistake in a fact (perhaps a victim of actual disinformation), and a second guest who got all of her valid points across, only to be shamed for it on national television in front of a panel of professionals? I thought that the days of barbarianism were over in the UK at least, yet here they are still today only in a different format on television.

I felt like I had just watched a small snippet of abuse, unfortunately this is spread over an entire length of a program involving many more guests than the ones that I have mentioned. It was painful to watch, and I felt that it was aiming to get the monetary audiences in, not just those present to discuss.

I have never spoken about my own experiences with Covid-19, I wanted to ensure that I was not influencing anyone else’s freedoms, but since the BBC are okay to try and shape peoples opinions that I at least should be permitted to write what I am about to write.

At this point, which is Friday 4th of February, 2022, and after hearing many different peoples experiences as well as re-experiencing the same, slight differing problem over the years myself, I can feel safe in the knowledge that I first came across Covid-19 in whatever form that it was in, in November / December 2015.

I then picked up the same thing in February 2016, and lasted a bit longer until I got it again in February 2020, March 2020, October 2020, June 2021, and January 2022 - the recent episodes in January lasted me two days at most, and was not as rough terrain like previous experiences.

Throughout that time I had no help or understanding as to what was going on, until 2021 when I began to wonder if what I had been troubled with all this time was in fact Covid-19, so I started listening to others experiences and keeping up with what was happening for people globally in the news.

There were a few things that stood out to me along that journey;

* the affect that Covid-19 was having on peoples gut

* the re-circulation of old or dormant virus and associated symptoms 

* the ability of Covid-19 to cross the brain barrier

Having plenty of time on my hands during lock down, I certainly kept my eye on the world news for updates and noticed more and more that symptoms of things like long Covid fatigue, matched with those of the known Epstein Barr virus, which is common and can lay harmlessly dormant in the guts of anyone.

I also noticed that fungus was a big player in Covid-19 mortality, as fungus is one of the causes of pneumonia. Various fungus can also be the cause of many rash like symptoms that people experience.

In looking at my own experience at least, fungus and bacteria are not just big players in Covid-19 symptoms, but the main ones, leading me to personally (as a lay person) come to understand that Covid-19 is likely a liberator of whatever lays dormant, and perhaps not so dormant, in the guts of the host that it comes to exploit. This includes the transportation and crossing of some of those things over the brain barrier, which explains why so many accounts of Covid-19 experiences include those of neurological symptoms.

Like any public transport service, Covid-19 is nothing without it’s passengers. Taking care of our general health and reducing susceptibility to the overgrowth, overexposure, and resistance to overcoming various fungus and bacteria that are naturally occurring in ourselves and in the environment, may well help in promoting the permanent closure of Covid-19′s business.

The experiences of people matter, as does the free choice for people to have a vaccine, or to not have a vaccine.

Stay well :)

Dreamwork, the Beauty and the Boundary Violation

Dreamwork is an interesting area of human life that easily gets caught up in a nightmare, so I wanted to write a short bit about that today and define what dreams (and nightmares) are, which can sometimes help stop the fall.

Dreams (and nightmares) are the brains way of resolving things that have not been processed in waking time. It is a bit like doing a format or defragging of a hard drive, sorting out the bits and pieces that either didn’t make a connection, or were just not sorted into the correct place so that they could be moved on from. In machines, that is processing. We are not machines, but as humans, it is pretty much the same processing story for us, with the exception that we are feeling beings, and that we get mystified by things sometimes.

Working out our dreams is something that we can all learn to do, and for those who can look objectively, whilst utilising empathy and an understanding of psychology, Dreamwork with others can be really eye opening for the receiver. The best part however, is that once you have started to work with someone else on Dreamwork, it becomes impossible to not then go forward in being able to realise the individual meaning of dreams for one’s self.

There is another side to the coin though. Dreamwork is a largely overlooked area for potential abuse that is worth remembering, in case it starts happening to ourselves or someone else that we love or care about deeply. Such an open, repeated vision into the boundaries of the personal psyche should only be shared with those that we undoubtedly know that we can trust.

Narcissistic Traits: When is it Fucked Up?

... when it is to do with somebodies eyebrows.

I came across a study that studied what people thought, and I’ll add, based on appearances over behaviour, when people perceive the eyebrows of another person. No, I am not joking and yes, this is one of those things that I could only dream was fake news. 

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/324971942_Eyebrows_Cue_Grandiose_Narcissism

The study revealed that thick, well groomed eyebrows were a narcissistic trait by viewers standards, and going on the trends of increasingly large eyebrows in the last five years, I’d say that this was well dangerous to put out publicly and only highlights to me just how dangerous narcissistic trait lists online can be for a person.

With these trait lists we are leading ourselves into an era where people feel that they are entitled enough to call others narcissists, and a lot of the time quite publicly. The problem with that is, that unless the person doing it is a registered psychiatrist or related health professional with the full, educated understanding of the disorder, people who shout out narcissist are making a slur. A self entitled slur that only shows the speaker of such words for who they truly are.

Quietly, we can decide for ourselves that someone has traits that we would rather not have in our lives and move on swiftly, but where there is a need to openly and directly name someone a narcissist and holding no qualification to do so, we have to look at the motive behind that need, for that is where the real problem lies.

Something a former care taker would often say to me as a teenager being a teenager: it’s not big and it’s not clever. 

Don’t worry eyebrow groomers, I’m not blanketing you with this one. 

Narcissistic Trait lists: A Dangerous Corner of the Web.

The popularity of narcissistic traits on the web looks like it is at it’s peak right now, comments all over sites like Quora and Reddit, forums, websites and even Twitter “specialists” are everywhere, but not all of the information given is accurate. Although some information is completely valid for an experiencer of narcissistic abuse who is writing of exactly that, their own experience, some people are just there to suck up a loyal following who will pay them for advice, follow them on social media, and provide them with the public likes, re-tweets, and adulation that they need. Notice anything here?

Narcissistic behaviour is not something that can be diagnosed by the general public, in fact, it should never be so, but spotting a narcissist is a great way to keep ourselves safe from their careless behaviour, so what is the work around? How can we, as individuals, not get caught up in the programmed behaviour that is being set out by people posting information that may not apply to all, whilst also keeping ourselves safe from unnecessary crap?

There are a few basic things about narcissistic behaviour that can be pointed out as fact for many of them, although these will be interchangeable, and and entire context should be applied for the individual in question. Additionally, nobody can escape the fact that many narcissists do scour information on the web to train themselves into known passive, submissive, readily acceptable, or caring body language and behaviours, but be assured that this is not to self improve their own narcissism and become more compassionate towards others, it is just another way for the narcissistic person to net people in and “take them for fools” - that’s their words not mine by the way heh.

If you, the reader, have had trouble with many narcissists before, you will be a little more equipped because it is likely that you may have noticed some narcissistic patterns or other repeating across the board already. I have noticed some in my own experiences, which is why I can post you the following short few things which I call a The Skeleton. I call it The Skeleton because this is the framework that the narcissist is operating on in basic terms across the board, and it is where many of their further behaviours spring from. Noticing a skeleton has helped me get to the real reasons for a persons woes on many occasion, so here goes.. but remember, not everybody who does one of these things is narcissistic, there is always a wider context and individuality that must be taken into account.

Intense Staring

Narcissists do this, but in a way that is bare faced odd. It will be uncomfortable for you, and strange. This is because you are two things; prey, and someone that they are trying to work out so that they can get in.

Inferiority and Superiority Imbalance

Either one will be out on display, although usually it is superiority. Superiority is an attempt to cover the painfully inferior feeling person beneath, although if you are seasoned you may see the inferiority first.

Lies and Dishonesty

Lies will be obvious, repeated, and quite courageous.. too courageous in fact, as if they even believe in what they are saying themselves. Dishonesty and lies will occur in just about anything, although it usually always serves a narcissists self protection, greater plot, or protecting such a plot from being exposed.

Unreciprocated Use of People

Narcissists must find a beneficial use for each person, or else they are useless and to be discarded. This is wildly different from a healthy relationship where people get their needs met because narcissists are in for what they can get alone and get nothing from reciprocating, unless it is still early days and they are trying to win you over.

Stupified Eye Response and Facial Expression

If you catch it, there will be times where the narcissist (and also a psychopath whilst we’re here) will have a look on their face that looks like they have just had a few swift blows to the head with a baseball bat. It usually occurs when they are incensed about something, which more is often that their current plot is not working out or has not worked out entirely.

So that’s The Skeleton from my perspective, although remember, there is always a wider context and individuality that must be taken into account when noticing these signs.

Many people read similar trait lists and find something in everyone, like a one size fits all, and to me that is quite a dangerous corner that we have been programming ourselves to sit in. The truth is that narcissism is a scale, anyone can become one given the correct surroundings and experiences, and that there is such a thing as healthy narcissism which we all must have a little of in the world.

I will be posting again about The Skeleton, breaking down some interesting points about it so if you're interested, keep a look out for that.

Stay awesome :)

© Thursday 10th Feb 2022

The ‘Goodness’ Mask of Controlling Behaviour.

I feel like were in a sort of new era of controlling behaviour, an era that acts in a deeply masked way making it difficult to see the original cause for what it really is.

Sure, activism is fantastic, but as someone who is looking for it, I cannot help but spot the bits in activism that seek to change things, claiming to be for the best, natural outcomes, when really there is a high stake of control involved where things ‘should’ be done in the way that they say, because the other way is entirely evil, substandard, or plain old wrong when it is just not necessary.

This type of behaviour is often seen in mental health diagnostics, where others are wrong and they are right, that everybody else is wrong and should be doing things in only the way that the ‘dictator’ for lack of a better word, see’s things as correctly being done.

I don’t think any of us needs much of a pointer on what that means for society as a whole.

Controlling behaviour can show up as something ‘good’ being put out, for the benefit of mankind and it’s fellow nature, but in this way it is simple pretentiousness for the masses toward some internal process of purpose, one that is masked and is originally called control.

There are many things that we cannot, and should not control and have control over, one of those in my eyes are some parts of nature.. all life forms included.

The shaping and landscaping of Earth is part of what we do as creators, and our mere existence plays a role in how the surrounding life changes, evolves, and shapes itself, but should we be having a hand in it all?

I don’t think so. Not all of it.

Deserts are dry and arid for a reason, altering them to contain lakes and water spaces seems an irrational placement that would change our ecosphere with unsavoury effects.

Activists wish to change the current cycles of land which are in their not so pretty phase into a forced cycle of forestation, and people are crashing their space junk into the moon just to make a bit of history in their name for future times, which may not be in any books.

We are messing with things beyond our scope, sometimes with good intention, not realising that most natural cycles really can and should be left alone. In many cases, some things just cannot be forced without terrible consequence.

Perhaps one day we will learn to leave some things be.

Be vigilant, and be your own boss on things :-)

Radicalisation, Hate, and the Great Die Out.

I didn’t write for a while, it is hard work using my brain to the extent that I do so time off is necessary, as any hyper vigilant person may already know... and for the record, I am playing with this “great die out” in the title. You should know that I classify those using phrases like “the great reset, the great bla bla, etc” as radicalised people.

I want to write about our ongoing, and in my view, dangerous journey that is deepening into the world of single mindedness.

By single mindedness, what I mean is the one track, intolerant, anti diversity that our brains appear to be being trained into, by what often traces back to source as social media.

It doesn't only track back to social media, it also tracks back to certain public speakers, those of which who rightly so, hold their own beliefs and value set in the world, but instead of keeping those various laundries at home on the drying rail amongst friends and family sharing a cup of tea and a biscuit, they are taken out in front of great audiences both in person and online, with the intention of letting people know that their view is the only one that matters.

The problem with that is where some people in the audience have a tendency towards hate, and in many ways would like to act out that hate as a form of completion in their lives to please a specific person, being, or god. They really just want to please themselves.

Beliefs of people are one thing, but when they are pushed upon others as the “right” way above others personal will, then what we are dealing with is a person who wants to radicalise others into their own ideas about how life is to be lived.

Most of the obvious people who do this in the public eye are acting under the guise of religion. They are permitted to be there because they tout the religion as the reasoning behind their thinking, but looking at them all it is easy to see they are simply incredibly old fashioned. They, powerless in a rapidly changed, and still changing world, are struggling to grasp with the realities that they now find themselves in and perhaps have deep, survival based needs to make the modern world that they now find themselves in even more evil than it ever has been.. even though we come from a time where the iron age was probably as gruesome as it gets, and open incest is catalogued in their written histories.

Despite all of our efforts to be beautiful in the world, inclusive and if we like, engaging in of all of our individual, creative worlds, hate will preside both in the overground and the underground, but at least in one projection I can see high potential for the old fashioned overground to simply die out as the arrow of time continues to direct us all ever onward, and onward’s :)

Public speakers who preach hate trickle down their one track ideas to the next generations, but the beauty is that each generation waters it down before the hate it becomes nothing, non existent.

May you all be beautifully blessed, and sending extra massive love to the trans community and all those creating with genders, non genders, roles, and identities right now.

Resting in the Name of Shitheads.

Shitheads exist. 

I can thank them, since I get to be a major brain engager after having to repeatedly navigate their torrid little worlds, and get out the other side in one piece. In hilarious paradox, it is usually shitheads that are not in one piece, they are often split personalities, Jekyll and Hyde types who are in one moment giving hugs and happiness, and in the next punching you in the face because “your face makes me want to”.

Resting means re-finding and remaining in what never changes, which is essentially who you are inside, despite any hurt, pain, and suffering. Despite any of the low self esteem brought on by being in shitty company with deeply imbalanced, disrespectful interactions. Despite being told that you are anything else but who you are, who you are never changes and in resting there is always a safe, welcoming home.

Shitheads do not have such a home. They see other peoples homes, envy them, and seek to either occupy them fully, or destroy them completely - one of those is impossible, and the other only temporary, like a bad tenant, the type that leaves their trash behind and does not take care of what helps shelter it from the worlds trials and tribulations.

By resting, left behind trash can be cleared through and recognised as something that never belonged to us to begin with. There is zero responsibility, nor obligation to keep that trash in safe storage, so in whatever way that trash is turfed out of your beautiful home matters not, but you can bet it will matter 100% to the owner and they will not enjoy it’s appearance back into their lives.

Put the shit back where it belongs, with it’s shithead owner.

Sending love :) <3 

Surviving Other People’s Shit: 10 Self Compassionate “I” Existence Affirmations to Get Out and Stay Out of Manipulative Control.

1 - I am free to personally like and dislike whoever it is that I choose, regardless of what other people think.

2 - I do not have to tolerate or accept repeated abusive behaviour in my life based on the abusers state of mind or personal well being.

3 - There are no rules when it comes to who I must, and who I must not allow in my personal space, except for my own.

4 - As an independent adult or young adult, I understand that what I do in my personal life, does not have to be based on what another person insists that I do, or else there will be consequences.

5 - I am allowed to say no.

6 - I am free to choose which invites to attend or not attend.

7 - I might have accepted a gift, but this does not bind me to the givers will.

8 - I can choose to have different beliefs and values than others, and still get along in the world.

9 - I am beautiful, no matter what they say (thank you xtina :))

10 - I am free to have whatever feelings that I have in any given moment, and pledge to manage these feelings in the safest, best possible way that supports the ultimate value of my existence.

Stay excellent :)