Unless You're Into That Kinda Thing, And That Might Be Why You're Kid Became A Pornstar

One time in 6th grade, I was in after school care (just all the kids whose parents work late hanging around in the back field with some adults watching them), and a couple of boys and one other girl and I were playing soccer, but the boys were being douches and kept picking up the ball and running away. I told the supervisor playing with us that I wanted to tackle them.

He said go for it.

Now, I understand that I wasn't exactly threatening with my orange braces, hipster glasses, and Hello Kitty lunch box, so he might have been joking, but I WAS given permission.

Long story short, I ripped one guys shirt, everyone of them got a few bruises, and they stopped stealing the ball.

Don't mess with a girl with two older brothers and three other older boy cousins.

I painted my face with someone else’s blood 

Reblog with your own brutal events, tag some brutal ladies 

@percees @empressamy 

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

and a merry boop to all <3

I laughed way too hard at this

cats being capable of understanding accidents and even giving you a little head bonk to let you know you're still cool makes it infinitely funnier that they don't understand when you're trying to help them

cats when you step on their tail: i'll admit that was rather ouchie, but given the lifetime of goodwill and trust between us, one must conclude this booboo is but a fluke.

cats when you try to get their claws unstuck from the couch covering: this nefarious bitch has never had a single honorable intention in their dishonest and shameful life, this must be one of their sinister plots or perhaps even an attempt on my life,

i havent shaved my legs in a really long time and while i was babysitting my skirt edged up a bit and the seven year old i was watching said “ew you should shave that hairs not supposed to be there” and i said “well if its not supposed to be there then why does it grow there?” and he was really silent for a long time and then finally said “lets watch sonic the hedgehog”

you know sometimes it shocks me too but google really is free and it’s right there in your hands

By “relaxing with a book” I actually mean that I’ll be crying and sweating and having heart palpitations and basically just stressing the fuck out but y’know details

some of the polls i’ve been seeing have too many common options and it made me mad enough to make my own. go crazy

Night Star Cat, Cat-O-Lanterns, and Ghost Cats.

I'm sorry guys, but I think this is a cat blog now...