Hedwig:

Story-wise, I do not want Dazai to just show up and save the day again

Emotionally though, I want Dazai to show up and beat the shit of Fyodor for what he just pulled with Atsushi

au where auror harry potter ends up in the marauders time period, right by the beginning of voldemort’s rise.

harry potter who avoids hogwarts by all means (the memories are too painful) and instead tries to take down voldemort and his death eaters by himself.

harry who drops his last name in favor of the common muggle last name “evans” to completely separate any ties to the potters (for their sakes.)

harry evans who keeps his distance from his mom, the marauders, and snape because he knows if he sees them he’s going to ruin something.

instead, harry evans catches the attention of the potter family (who is convinced he is a long lost heir), the blacks (who start to suspect he is a new up and coming dark lord), dumbledore (who believes the same), and the dark lord himself (who is intrigued by this mysteriously strong man thwarting his every move.)

i timetravelled to when my parents were still kids to destroy the dark lord but i became his lover instead!?

RIP Regulus I guess

happy june!

Tänään kaveri kysyi, että miksi käytän usein sanasta "raha" termiä "rahet". Se katsoi mua kuin mielipuolta kun koitin selittää, että nuoruudessani katsoin videon nimeltä "AKUN KAKKA ONKLEMA XDDDDDD" liian monta kertaa ja "rahe" tulee niin vahvasti mun selkärangasta että en edes huomaa käyttäväni sitä termiä.

Saanko vajota johonki maanrakoon niinku just nyt

i’m so in love with chuuyas side profile like ha ha u so pretty come home the kids miss you n all that ha ha

happy trails. with bsd men. faints.

canon fyozai interaction

My one headcanon that I will continue to believe despite it being proven wrong several times over is that Dazai doesn't handle pain well.

It's said in canon that he doesn't like pain (which tbh is one of the more normal things about him) but he has been stabbed, shot, beaten up, ect multiple times and he almost always reacts like its nothing to him afterwards. I know this goes for most characters in BSD because everyone's only as hurt as the plot needs them to be, shhh, I'm talking about Dazai specifically.

I simply do not accept this.

I think Dazai actually has a really low pain tolerance but he's just learned to mask it the same way he has all his other feelings. However, if that mask breaks he's a mess. He's snivelling, curling in on himself, making all the sad whimpering owie noises because he can't take it.

When his injuries are painful at night and he can't sleep, he's kicking under the covers and biting his pyjamas in frustration. It makes him angry because he can't just shut out physical pain like he can emotional pain, he doesn't have that control. Sure, he can try to ignore it but it doesn't stop the pain being there.

And most frustrating of all he wants to be comforted. He finds the weaker part of himself demanding he reach out for help but refuses to give into that impulse. That's how you know he's really in pain, because a little cut or bruise and he'll milk it for all the attention he can get, he'll annoy the hell out of Kunikida by saying he couldn't possibly be forced to file paperwork when the vile report gave him such a grave paper cut. It would be inhumane to force him through that trauma. Things like that.

When Dazai's really hurt, he tries to hide it or play it off like he's fine (it's the cat in him), unfortunately for him, people who care about him have caught onto this behaviour and start demanding to know what's wrong. To which he instinctively denies everything because god forbid they see him hurting (again, picture a cat that hates going to the vets, that's him).

For all his efforts, he still breaks, because he's bad with pain and fighting is making it worse. Eventually he becomes more reluctantly accepting of help. From certain people he trusts. Kunikida, Chuuya, Yosano.

They know he's feeling better when he starts playing into it, and the "woe is me" act starts coming out. They can't be entirely annoyed at it, because it means he's recovering.

dazai: atsushi is in a relationship, and we need to figure out who it is and if theyre good enough for him

kunikida: atsushi is a grown ass adult. he doesn't need us peering over his shoulder at every moment. we need to let him make his own choices, and trust him.

dazai: are you crazy??? im one of atsushi's closest friends!!!!!!! that boy has horrible taste in people, obviously!!!!!!!

au where aku and atsushi meet separately becuz i doubt atsushi could be subtle enough for everyone to not immediately connect the dots lmao