*cracks knuckles*
So you know those fics/ideas where the batfam pretends to be winged cryptids (“loading and aspect ratio” by JUBE514 is beautiful, as is the series “f’ing demon bats” by KingJai) completly inhuman, entirely different, unknown species?
People start trying to like, study/classify them, along with other metas and species that are emerging. At first, they think the bats and the birds are different species, deciding to co-habitate, because- duh. Bats are mammals. Birds are birds. But then, why do they all have the same whistle chitter language? The same claws, fangs, cape-like base to thier wings? All the babies call Batman dad, what if its really a bloodline family? But if thats the case, then why are they so different?
The answer lies in the batgirls.
The bat… GIRLS.
Black bat, batgirl (all 3 of them), batwoman, all are female. The robins, nightwing, red hood, are all male.
The feathered members of the family are SHOWIER. They’re stealthy, sure, but they’re dramatic, using their brighter colors and their words to draw attention to themselves. Even red robin, the drabbest and most silent of the bunch, will get into loud debates with riddler and such. Clearly, these are displays to attract a mate. Just look at nightwing.
The leather-winged members, in the other hand, are quieter, talking less often, sticking more to the shadows and silent+violent takedowns. Black Bat almost never speaks. Oracle is never even seen. Spoiler is louder and more brightly colored, but who is Gotham to enforce gender roles onto their cryptid? They’re noticing trends.
But then… where does batman fit into this? His coloration is the closest to black bat. His fighting style fits in the shadows, not as flashy as other males of his species, so what gives? Is this theory just a theory?
No, of course not. The answer is obvious. Batman is trans.
Trans Cryptid Batman.
Idk how Duke fits into this give him a bird theme or smth.
BONUS POINTS if Alfred (grandpa gotham cryptid) is “revealed” to have lovely white feathered wings. Its meant to be a play on how he’s an angel looking out for them (an angel for putting up with them) but it kickstarts the whole thing.
(EDIT: more bonus points if Bruce is either A:actually trans or B: Bryce trying to avoid sexism, and cannot for their AFAB life figure out how they got clocked as biologically female)
the image is from an article on skin color measurement in regards to oximetry readings, it was the best I could find as far as having a decent range but a small enough number to fit in a poll
during one of the final psych evals at Arkham right before he gets to be released, the whole thing wrapped up so tidy, just a little relapse which involved a robbery. Getting sent back to Arkham, but he got to stay at the asylum so long that he no longer has to serve a prison sentence, score!
But during that eval his overseeing psychiatrist recommended him to have a change of scenery, some fresh non polluted air.
Riddler was rather convinced the guy was making this recommendation to everyone in Arkham in their own weird way to convince them to just leave Gotham and become someone else's problem. should he notify Batman about it somehow? nah, it’ll be more interesting to see how this is gonna turn out in the long run.
But can he leave the state? Can he even leave the city? he never really bothered to look into it, at least not legally, up until now if he felt he needed to leave for one of his plans he just did it.
Turns out he can, it’s a whole hassle and a half though, first a judge and then a probation officer and he’s pretty sure both were like “what the hell is this psychiatrist guy thinking!?” but at the same time, shrink probably knows what he’s doing (WRONG) so he’s allowed to go visit out of state family or whatever.
he had to wear this nice ankle monitor though, Wayne Enterprises™ tech, not overly bulky but still very present. real fancy, and a fun extra challenge heh.
now as for a good reason to leave New Jersey he’s going to need distant relatives, and he finds some, great grandpa walker also has a son, who had a son who had a daughter Madeline, who married some guy Jack Fenton, and she lives somewhere out in the boonies Illinois. great he’ll visit her.
far enough away in all sense of the word that there is no way she knows anything about him. it would be best to call her first though, be polite about it.
“hello, you have reached Fenton works, this is Maddie speaking”
“Riddle me this-” ah whoops, habit, oh whatever, “we don’t share parents, but certainly a part of your life, from laughter to strife. Who am I?”
there is a pause … he’s going to be a bit disappointed if she hangs up if he’s honest.
“cousins~” comes the cheery reply.
“correct! the name is Edward Nygma, we are distantly related you and I and well-”
“oh you simply must come visit!”
well this was rather easy, perhaps a little too easy, but she lives in the midwest so maybe just going with whatever some guy says over the phone is normal there? stranger danger not really a thing in a small town where everyone knows everyone?
things start to make a little more sense once he gets there and he’s starting to think some things might run in the family. like a preference for the colour green and weird hyperfixations and genius bordering on insanity. Though that remains to be seen, Jack does not seem like a very bright light after his very enthusiastic welcome.
their kids however are observant and sharp. young Jasmine is wasting no time trying to psychoanalyze him. and the boy, Danny, he had not really meant to and he swears he’s sticking with calling the kid Danny so he wouldn’t seem overly familiar, but he might have called him little bird a couple times now.
but that’s all whatever, he’s playing nice here. and he doesn’t even have to worry about his eccentricities tripping him up because this place is insane.
There actually is a local teen vigilante active but he seems about as loved as he’s disliked. and the ghost boy’s enemies are basically all his own kind, which another crazy thing to now know about. ghost. they are real actually, how is Gotham not completely overrun? and how do they even work? and where do they keep coming from?
Edward might be getting a little sidetracked here. He had fully intended to sneakily get his next big game plan underway all the way out here, ankle monitor be damned. but he hasn’t made any progress at all.
Instead he’s been listening to Madeline and Jack to maybe figure out what the deal is with these ectoplasmic entities, he has to know, at this point he might go crazier if he doesn’t.
He’s making Jasmine promise him not to get her doctorate in Gotham, he’s going back and forth with space riddles with Danny.
so yeah the whole thing kinda just became a vacation, maybe the psychiatrist had the right idea after all? hmm nah, probably not. but this is fun. He’s thinking about recommending this place to some of the others.
It's different enough to get the vacation feel, but enough crazy shit happens to make it all feel like home.
it is not until Maddie wants to talk with him about potentially switching the position of godfather of Danny to him rather than some weird rich friend of theirs that Edward realizes he might have lost the plot somewhere
Apparently the little bird basically begged them with a powerpoint presentation on how he likes Edward so much more than that Vladimir guy.
And honestly, the fellow sounds like a Dracula Lutho so even if it’s kinda sad Edward can understand why he’d be considered a better option. Even if the guy has more money and a huge company that makes him said money. And it’s not like the Fentons know about his Riddler activities.
Thinking it over, Edward does think that Danny would like Gotham and Wayne has that space program thing right? The kid is definitely smart enough for that (Nygma certified), and yeah Edward does quite like their space themed back and forth. So, fuck it, why not, what is the worst that could happen?
He doubts Maddie and Jack are gonna kick it any time soon anyway out here in the boonies, it’s just a title thing, a stamp of approval or something.
he should have known he was going to eat those words later… he had this whole beautifully elaborate trap set up for the whole Batclan, and he was just getting to the good part when his phone went off.
Had to put the whole thing on pause cause that particular contact wasn’t gonna get ignored. He did promise to be available.
If the whole thing he had planned now went tits up he could at the very least laugh later at the reactions of the bats as he told them to “hold up one second, I have to take this.” while they were all in various perilous positions.
Sadly he did have to go, he had a very distressed godson to pick up.
(We briefly discussed how these things are driven by the same impulse or whatever in biology class last year and i haven't been able to stop thinking about it since)
pls reblog for sample size etc
at the end of april fools day* idk if they're removing it or not
void and vae pronouns! Feel free to use and ask for more!
credit not needed but appreciated
Well, Mermay is almost done buuut, Aquatic batfam is always lovely. So which would you be fine hearing me ramble about-slash-work on the Oneshots lol
Eel Mer- Eeels. Long wriggly friends. Now with apposable thumbs! And Bruce's growing adoption problem- and a slight family curse but shhh.
Merfolk- I mean, fish! A mixture of modern and fantasy with the merfolk of Gotham waters being cryptids compared to the rest of the seas. The bats think it's hilarious.
Octopus Mer- Octopi are fun. And you ever see the videos of octopus continuously escaping their tanks? Imagine if the octopi were vigilantes with weapons. Yeaah...
Crabtaur- Lazarus crabs? Lazarus crabs! And a curse to them all that they have to work around in their day to day lives.
Nudibranch- Sea Slugs? Indeed. And a lot of them poisonous and using the poisons in their work- along with messing with each other.
Mershark- Sharks! Includes Flashpoint-esque Thomas being a murder grandpa and past AlfredxMarthaxThomas, along with Bruce being less murderous
Kraken- Squids. Think giant merfolk but well, giant squids. Fantasy-esque AU with Gotham being the largest population of pirates & crime on the seas.
Sea Dragon- Sea serpents mixed with seahorses and a bit more. Includes the kids being bio-kids via blood ritual and a couple galas. Also some shapeshifting.
Name/s - Void, Lies Age - 20+ Pronouns - Mx Xe/Xem/Xer, Ze/Zim/Zir, Voi/Void/Voids, 1stpp - I/I'm = K/K'm, Me = Ki, My = Kai, Mine = Kaine, Myself = Kaiself, https://en.pronouns.page/@Lie418
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