AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Old posts like this remind me that this place was around a long time and things like Twitter going to shit is what brought this site from the background to the limelight.

Tintin remembers what comes after 15.

Well, that was a story.

Something you can’t really unread, but good to know.

I will be thinking of this for a long time.

I only learned about this story a couple  months ago from my friend who does Wormgerm, but I instantly knew that 1) it was going to be my October 31 post and 2) I was going to illustrate it.

This is of the most horrendously nasty fairy tales you may ever hear. It revolves entirely around graphicbody horror and repeated non-consensual childbirth between a demon and a kidnapped fairy queen. I do my best to preserve the details without getting too upsetting, but the demon literally keeps drugging his stolen wife to conceive a series of deformed monsters and some of the ways in which they were born even make me squeamish.

But, yes, this legend really does involve tapeworm creatures. And weirder. The nine demon children are responsible for all diseases known to man, and take a variety of verminous animal forms, each with their own areas of expertise in the art of pestilence.

I’ve transcribed the most complete version I could from multiple sources, and drawn all nine slimy hellspawn.

So if you have a strong stomach for dark, disturbing ancient legends, learn where the common cold really came from (a hagfish baby. It was a hagfish baby.)

Been reading some original works on Ao3 recently

Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.

hey! if you're not already aware, my favorite game ever, a boomer shooter called TF2, is currently facing a massive bot problem. bad actors are hosting bot players to farm items and take advantage of the economy, or to go out of their way to disrupt games with cheats like aimbot and wallhacks. an entire game can be put to standstill by 3 sniper bots, and Valve continues to monetize the game despite their several-year long stint of no communication to the community, and no action to stop the bots.

if you'd be willing to take a second, check out this website and sign this petition which will be physically printed and sent to Valve.

a lot of people have a deep love for this game, and it makes me sad that it's made to be as unapproachable as it currently is by people who choose to detract joy from the world because they cannot create it.

Googoo thanks you for your signature. Scout (me) also thanks you for your signature.

Damn, should have seen this earlier.

Happy Xenoblade Day

After an argument that ended with the Druid leaving, the party scrambled to figure out what to do before their next fight occurred.

At the time, they were caught in a rock and a hard place with the soldiers of a tyrant king marching their way and the village that both helped them multiple times and being the key to clearing their names from the other kingdoms being the target of destruction, and with a man down, the party was running low on options.

————————————————————————

————————————————————————

“He had all the best support magic of the group and the animal transformation would have been good against the oncoming mob of soldiers!” The cleric yelled, the party down their strongest member.

“And? He was a volatile prick that picked a fight with everybody! And that’s coming from me!” The Kobold barbarian made a good point, the Druid wasn’t a people person and actively drove people away.

“We still needed him for this plan, and now that’s he’s gone, how are we supposed to defend the people. The king’s army will slaughter everyone, us included.” The elven rouge fired back. This wasn’t a good time for all this to happen. How are we supposed to kill a tyrant, protect people, and clear our names if we couldn’t survive each other?

The knight had some plan. “Maybe someone nearby can do the things he could or at least know the spells he could. If we…” The rustling of the bushes caught everyone’s attention.

A bear came out. Not a monster or a familiar or hybrid, a normal bear. Not as dangerous and as a dragon, but can be threatening.

“Hey, piss off! We don’t need you butting in on our panic session.” The barbarian threatened with no luck.

The bear just sat down and lifted one paw up and down, like if he was waving them over.

“I… I think it wants to talk.” The mage finally spoke up, causing everyone to look their way. A shy person like them usually didn’t speak at all. “The bears around here are notoriously aggressive, so um… if it didn’t attack us already, then it may want something.”

“Let’s give the bear a chance.” The rouge vouched for the bear, as a child of the forest. “Use that spell so we all can hear its voice.” The mage agreed and casted Speak with Animals.

“Okay then Mr bear, did you want to ask us something?” The mage shakily said as the party prepared to fight.

"No need for the hostility, heroes. News travels fast in the forest, so I’ll be blunt. I heard your fake-bear left. I'm real, I'm better, and I'll work for fish, meat, and honey. Deal?"

The party huddled together to talk about the opportunity give before they responded.

The knight spoke up. “As much as your offer sounds nice, our problem involves a massive army of heavily armed soldiers, powerful mages, and even some Wyvern flyers. I doubt your strength could make much of a difference.”

The bear then spoke with confidence. “So, it’s an army that you want, eh? Well, I know where to find willing fighters, so come, follow me.”

The bear than walked into the woods with the party following close behind, still in a fighting stance in case of an ambush.

As they moved deeper in the forest, more animals showed up and some started following them.

Rabbits and squirrels, foxes and wolves, raccoons and deer, boars and lizards, ants, moths and mosquitoes, birds of all kinds, and even other bears and tigers showed.

Then in the heart of the forest lies familiar creatures. Dragons, phoenixes, unicorns, gryphons, a hellhound, a kitsune, and some shaggy ape man turned out way, but not before other beings showed up.

Elves, Satyr, Gnolls, Fae, Centaurs, Kobolds, Spriggans, Ents and a Leshy showed up, some we recognized from past quests.

“Wait, we recall saving and helping some of you guys. This is where you’ve been staying?” The clerk recalled the dangerous question that ended with one of them saved, quests taken with the Druid.

“It was hard finding a place that felt safe nowadays, and if trouble wants to come here, then the forest and its inhabitants will fight them off.” An elf proudly states, after which the party look back at the bear.

The bear seems to know what the party was thinking. “Here’s your army, just give us food and point at whatever it is that you want dead.” A thought however, came to their minds.

“If there was an army here, why did you wait until the Druid left to show us this?” The Barbarian seemed confused, wanting to know if they waited for that moment specifically to show.

“That guy was a prick, always boasting, always showing off, always undermining us all, didn’t want to work with that guy.” The bear waved him off like an afterthought, when the elf came forward.

“There was a lot your old “friend” was hiding, some secret dangerous enough that we dared not risk showing ourselves to him.” The elf looks worked that someone was watching, but came up with nothing.

“We allowed a traitor in the party?” The knight seemed a bit fearful.

The elf shakes his head and wanted to clear up something.“Not a traitor, but the energy around him states that he has an agenda of his own, maybe he longs for power or something. In any case, he needed to leave if we were to join up with you heroes.”

The idea of what the Druid wanted with the party bounced in their heads but the looking threat pushed that thought back in their minds as they decided on the deal.

The knight spoke for the party. “We’ll deal with the Druid later, right now we accept your deal and your needs, now let’s head back to the village and arm them, we can’t afford to lose any more time.”

There is a plan in place now, but whether it gets done to completion is unclear. What was also unclear was the plans of the Druid and why he wanted to leave.

After this is all and done, the party are going after him to get answers from him, to hopefully know his true goals be potentially being too late.

After the druid in your party leaves, a bear strolls up—oddly friendly. Suspicious, the mage casts Speak with Animals. The bear says, "I heard your fake-bear left. I'm real, I'm better, and I'll work for fish, meat, and honey. Deal?"

I baked some beetle bread!! <3