Necrophilliacs Be Like

The first time I heard an adult say the f word was when I was in fourth grade and we were doing some project that involved us baking cookies together as a class. My teacher Ms. Lindsey, who was real sweet, was demonstrating for everybody and she asked if anyone knew how to crack an egg, and I really didn’t know how to crack an egg, but I’m a go-getter, so I raised my hand and she called on me. I instantly knew I was in trouble at that point but I’d seen my dad crack eggs hundreds of times so I figured, ya know, it can’t be thaaaat hard. So I grab the egg but I have no sense of how softly you’re supposed to tap an egg to crack it, so I just slam it against the desk and splatter raw egg ten feet in every direction and my teacher said “what the fuck, Dion?”

NO MORE POSITIVITY!! ONLY EVIL!! THE PERSON YOU REBLOG THIS FROM IS A SCOUNDREL!!! >:3

Original comic by Rasenth

After running a thousand errands, working hours of overtime, and being stuck in seemingly endless gridlock traffic commuting to and from their jobs, millions of Americans were disheartened to learn that it was, in fact, only Tuesday.

“Tuesday?” San Diego resident Doris Wagner said. “How in the hell is it still Tuesday?”

Tuesday’s arrival stunned a nation still recovering from the nightmarish slog that was Monday, leaving some to wonder if the week was ever going to end, and others to ask what was taking Saturday so goddamn long.

“Ugh,” said Wagner, echoing a national sense of frustration over it not even being Wednesday at the very least.'

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.imagine if kris as aroace and we are aroace and we find this out about eachother and have a moment of solidarity then it's back to kris shoving us (the red soul we inhabit) in a cage or something. anyways

I’m not chronically online, I’m chronically on tumblr

do conservatives genuinely think that like. when i was 12 years old i decided to sacrifice my relationship with my family and my teenage years and my everyday joy just so i could eventually piss in the girls bathroom.

how fucking delusional are you. how can you think that any human being would put themselves through all this suffering and pain and loss just to like mock women or something. theres no fucking long con its not a bit im not fucking pretending. im not a man.

are you seriously going to hate me so fucking much that you would overthrow shit like human rights and your own economic comfort just to make sure that i cant be happy as myself. does my friend losing at sports but getting to be happy playing bother you so much that the past two months or whatever are worth it.

literally all this is just so i can be happy. im a fucking woman and nothing you can ever do will change that. its so fucking pathetic that my joy is everyones enemy for some reason. it doesnt have to be this way yall. it really doesnt. stop it

if you told young me that she would grow up in a world that didnt get more tolerant ever and hated her this fucking much she would have killed herself immediately. let kids be happy. give them hope. but also fucking

please just let me be happy for one minute of my life as a woman

you're morally not allowed to blast on limited-edition plushies. that's irresponsible

cracking open a lukewarm one with the boys. my fridge is broken.