Cardiologist Backstreet Boys: Ain't Nothin But A Heartache

He pulls the thin strands of his hair up into a messy bun, feeling the sparse follicles crunch like corn husks in his grip.

He looks at himself in the mirror, his face pulled taut by the Hello Kitty scrunchie struggling to grip his almost non-existent locks, and his complexion a cheeto dust orange.

It was clear in that moment. He was not like other ex presidents.

Anyone else have that moment where the lights flicker but you low-key gaslight yourself into thinking it was just a really prominent blink?

...just me?

I…am shocked. Literally I think I'm in shock. I don't know what to say or how to feel. I keep coming back to the fact that I never expected this to happen, which in hindsight seems a little ridiculous but…I don't know. I guess he always just seemed so calm it made everything seem like no big deal. I've definitely been slapped in the face by reality today and all I'm sure of is this, This fandom will never be the same without you Techno. You have left an empty space that nobody can fill and that space where you should be will be felt daily.

and I am simultaneously both

There are two types of writers:

1. 'It's fiction, it doesn't need to make sense!'

2. 'I didn't account for the rotation of the planet and how that affects the constalations while my characters stargazed at different times of year, I have failed as a writer, and this entire thing is trash'

me: *sends friend a message at 3 am*

friend: *responds*

me: woah woah there what are you doing up go the fuck to sleep this isn’t healthy

Kalijah Sneak Peek!

These are some excerpts from an upcoming chapter in my Kalijah fic Redamacy! I'm posting this for my greatest source of Kalijah inspiration @umaficwriter since without their edits, I never would've been able to write a halfway decent story for these two.

Link to the fic(pls ignore how bad chapter 3 is😭) https://archiveofourown.org/works/53393533

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Katerina crossed her arms with a scowl. “Well I'm so glad that they've finally deemed me worthy of tolerance, but that doesn't mean I'm eager to play house. Honestly, Elijah, did you expect us all to become one big happy family?”

Realistically, no, but as always, he had foolishly, idiotically, hoped that somehow it would all come together in the end and he could have it all. Truly, he was a selfish creature.

Reading the truth in his eyes, Katerina's face softened, and she stepped closer to him again, smoothing the creases in his brow and soothing him with her touch.

Her tone was gentler, but no less honest when she spoke again. “I could deal with Rebekah, but Klaus took everything from me. I won't plot against him, but I'll always hate him. It's not fair of you to ask otherwise.”

Elijah sighed. Of course, she was right, and he knew that. He would never expect so much from her. It was just that he wished so much for better, perfect circumstances, but theirs was a world far from perfect.

He leant his forehead against hers, lightly brushing their noses until she smiled. “I understand, Любов моя. It was never my intention to suggest such a thing. I just don't want to be apart from you.”

“So don't be,” she whispered against his lips, the move so enticing he had to kiss her.

After a moment, he pulled away enough that he could see her. She was still smiling slightly, and it brightened his mood.

“Go with your siblings to New Orleans, take care of your family, and once everything is settled, give me a call. We'll go back to Willoughby, or we can pick somewhere new. Doesn't matter.”

He stared into her eyes, searching them desperately for signs of deceit. “You would wait? While I was gone, you would wait for my return?”

Katerina placed a hand on his face, tenderly stroking his cheekbone. “I love you, Elijah. I'll love you while you're gone, and I'll love you even more if you come back.”

Elijah pulled her into a deep kiss, wrapping an arm around her waist to press her as close as possible and attempting to pour his devotion into her through touch alone. He only separated from a breathless Katerina just enough to speak a promise against her lips.

“I will always come back to you.”

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“I made them a promise that I would stand by their side and protect her and the child. Niklaus is playing a dangerous game. One misstep and everything will be lost. I cannot let that happen. They need me.”

Katerina pulled her hand from his grip. “And what about your promise to me? What about us? What about you? What do you want, Elijah?”

His own eyes were tearing up as he looked at her helplessly. “You know I want nothing more than to be with you. I love you.”

She squeezed her eyes closed like she couldn't bear to look at him, her lips, normally so full of color, were pressed so tightly together they were white. He knew she was struggling to maintain her composure, and he could do nothing but watch.

When she opened her eyes, they were resigned. The look on her face was similar to when Kol had said he could no longer help her. It was disappointed acceptance, the heartbreaking stare of someone failed far too often. He was sure nothing alive had ever felt as wretched inside as he did while meeting that stare.

“I know. That's what's so sad, Elijah. You love me, just not enough.”

“I-”

“You are devoted to a fault. You've given yourself entirely to your family, and there's no room for anything else. That's not how I want to be loved. I won't spend forever coming second to Klaus.”

Like always, she unapologetically forced him to stare his greatest flaws in the face, made him study them in great detail until he had a new understanding of some fundamental truth of himself. However, this time, knowing wasn't enough to make a difference. He wanted to say he would change, that he would leave Niklaus to live his life however he chose and put his love for Katerina first the way she deserved, but he couldn't make that promise. He couldn't fully let her go either.

“Forever is a long time, my Katerina. I may not be able to give you what you deserve now, but I still intend to keep my vows. I will come back to you. It may take time, but even though I'm not by your side, I will never leave you.”

Katerina took a deep breath, blinking away gathering tears stubbornly. She linked her hand with his again.

“You do that, and I'll stand by what I said too.”

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His gaze swept over her body, drinking in every detail of her beloved form before settling on her fathomless eyes.

“I don't think I can say goodbye,” he choked out around the swell of despair in his throat.

Her face crumpled, and she breathed a watery sigh before stepping closer to him. She stroked over his brow with soft fingertips, looking at him with so much adoration and heartbreak.

“Close your eyes,” she whispered.

He did what she said without thought and felt the heavenly sensation of her plush lips against his. The kiss was soft, tender, a loving caress, and a promise of more. It lingered like a last kiss but held the hope of a first.

Elijah reached to touch her, wind an arm around her waist, and never let her go, but his hand cut through thin air. He opened his eyes, and she was gone, the press of her against his skin imprinting itself into the familiar places it once called home.

He blinked a tear from his eye, feeling it trail down his cheek as he stared at the empty space she just occupied and reacquainted himself with her ghost.

The Hunger Games but we replace Caesar Flickerman with this guy