Inaccurate Batfam Quotes #10

So if Speedsters can surround themselves and handle lightning just fine when they throw it and stuff, and lightning is 5 times hotter than the sun, theoretically a speedster should be able to survive on the sun. I’m Bart, and in this Ted talk-

I think it would be funny if the speedsters claimed Duke as their own. Barry hears "light manipulation powers" and is like "Oh! So he's one of mine then :) thanks for looking after him Bruce, but I've got it from here :)"

Bruce is like no, you don't have it actually, he's just a meta, not a speedster, hey, give him BACK-

Meanwhile Duke is having the time of his life because speedsters are so much less intense??? And actually talk to each other most of the time? And AREN'T nocturnal (thank God)??? Duke's still a Gotham vigilante, sure, but he can get used to living in a city that isn't cursed. And help with his photokinesis because, as it turns out, it's very similar to some speedster traits. He appreciates Bruce’s help with everything non-powered, but it just feels nice to have this part of him actively cultivated by people who get it.

Like, sure, sometimes Bart can't bear to wear anything that covers his neck and talks at superspeed about unimaginable horrors of the future he came from with tears streaming down his face and a pained smile. Sure, some days Wally doesn't stop moving, dipping in and out of the Speed Force, because he says feels like if he stops, he'll fade away. Sure, every now and then, Barry can't bring himself to run because he fears that his speed will overwhelm him if he does.

Duke isn't perturbed. Just because it's a different flavor of trauma than the one he's used to doesn't mean he'll forget the basics. Speedsters talk a lot, eat a lot, and smile even more, but he can deal. Iris is amazing and kind and brave and warm and yeah, he cries a bit when she asks him what he's wearing for the family photo.

Duke shuffles nervously, "You know, you don't need to be so...nice to me. I get it if you don't want the kid your husband, nephew, and grandson took on as a joke."

Iris looks at him, smile utterly fond and tinged with mild confusion, "Duke, I'm not doing this because they like you- or, rather, it does play a part in it. But you're an amazing, kind, brave young man, and we're honored that you chose to stay."

"...oh," Duke's eyes are watering a bit. It's probably allergies—he didn't have any in Gotham, but he isn't used to fresh air yet. Not emotions. Nope. Not him.

"Yeah, oh," Iris says, giving him an amused glance, "now, the picture isn't going on the Christmas card because we aren't that white, but it'll be up on the mantle, if you don't mind."

Gotham's underworld whispers, it asks, "what did the Bat do to turn away his newest Bird?"

Gotham's upper class mutter with false sympathy, "did Brucie manage to turn away another one of his children? It really is a pattern with him, poor boy."

Dick's happy Duke is finally branching out to other heroes and not staying in the little Gotham-bubble. Tim reassures Bruce that it's just Duke growing up, and that he'll come home eventually like they all did.

Maybe it's because Tim and Dick both trust their speedsters with not only their lives, but their family's own as well, but they're unbothered by Duke choosing the Flash as his favorite hero.

Damian hates being the only kid constantly in the house again, so he overcompensates by loudly going to the Kents whenever he can.

Duke didn't even abandon them; he still lives in the Manor and goes to school in Gotham. He just spends most weekends and a night or two during the week in Central. He assumes nobody cares because nobody complains to him until one night at dinner when he mentions that Wally wants to take him for a week-long trip at the start of summer break, and Damian slams down his fork.

"You aren't going," Damian seethes.

Duke raises an eyebrow, looking to Bruce. Bruce looks pained. "You've been spending a lot of time with the Allens lately, Duke."

"Yeah, 'cause they're cool."

"Oh, so we're too incompetent for you, Thomas?" Damian snaps accusingly.

"Woah, woah, woah, I never said-"

Tim groans, having being bribed to attend Sunday dinner, "can we not do this now? I promised I'd help Kon with something before patrol."

"I agree," Dick cuts in, "just let Duke go-"

"HE'S NOT GOING!"

"Old man, just let the kid go," Jason sighs wearily, eyeing Damian, "it's just a week. I'm sure you'd enjoy the peace and quiet 'round here."

Duke throws his hands up in the air, "thank you!"

"Been a lot of that lately," Cass mutters, poking at her food. So she's not all that excited another one of her little brothers is growing up. Can you blame her?

"Oh my God," Steph says, realization dawning with a near-wicked grin, "are you guys jealous?"

"I am not so juvenile as to-"

"Jealousy is a strong word-"

"Yes," Cass says.

Duke finds it absolutely hilarious that they're jealous of what is essentially just hanging out at a friend's place and with his family.

"They could've just told me," Duke rants, incredulous.

"They're Bats," Wally wiggles his fingers in a vague motion, "not communicating is their thing."

"Not me this time," Dick says cheerily, "take care of my little brother, West."

"Or we'll break both your legs," Tim adds.

Barry mock-salutes, "yessir."

Yo, so my girlfriends little brother just asked me what tfw meant because I used it while we were texting. But here’s that thing: its direct translation is ‘that feel when’; however, that sentence is grammatically inaccurate. So I responded ‘those feelings when’ as to fix the sentence I had used it in. I. Need. Help.

What do you mean "curing" his autism. I don't remember that in the comics????

They don’t outright say it, cause that’d just be stupid of them, but you know the scene right before Bart becomes Kid Flash, when Deathstroke/Jericho shot him in the knee point blanc so he had that prosthetic put in? They basically used that as a coverup to change his character basics and rewrite his character. 

It was messy and sure, trauma does a lot to people, but come on. Immediately afterwards he took on the Kid Flash mantle, something he’s said on multiple occasions that he’d NEVER do. He read the entire San Fransico Library and memorised it all, something he’s never had the patience or attention span to do before, and no a traumatic event like that wouldn’t focus him. If anything he’d become more paranoid and ready to jump the gun, figuratively and literally. And then he becomes such a serious character? Like??? That’s not how neurodivergent people/characters work. He cracks jokes from time to time since he’s supposed to be the “class clown” character on the team-- also supposed to be untrue. 

The time the team found out Batman has a heart while simultaneously finding out Robin’s Identity...

There was an explosion during the mission. Unexpected, three down. But surprisingly, those three hadn’t suffered the worst of it. Sure, Atrimus had a sprained ankle and slight concussion, Wally suffered a few broken ribs and injured arm while Kaldur endured a broken nose and deep gash on his chest, they weren’t the one’s everyone was worried about. After they all split up, Wally and Dick had found the bomb with only a few seconds to spare. Wally used his body to cover Dick as he ran, ran as fast as he could to get him away but the force of it blew them out the window. Dick’s eyes widened as They fell, Wally’s arms still protectively tucking him into his chest while moving them so that he’d cushion the fall with his own body. The ebony seemed to have been in a trance after they landed on the grass below, fire raging and the team staggering out, Artimus being carried on conner’s back While m’gann helped Kaldur as he limped. Dick remained unresponsive, even as a very alive Wally had tried snapping him back. Then he went to shake him but this gut wrenching scream escaped the ebonys lips as he gripped his hair in anguish and doubled over with sobs. Everyone watched in surprise and horror as the youngest cried and screamed words in a language they didn’t understand.

That was then. They were all in the cave now, silently sitting in the living room without even trying to speak of what happened. No one even knew how to explain it. M’gann may have been able to read his emotion but they all felt it like it was their own as his screams continued to ring in their ears. His cries echoed through the halls as he was escorted to his room with Black Canary and refused to leave since. No one seemed to move.

“Recognized A01” the computer announced and they barely raised their heads to acknowledge the mentors presence.

“Wallace. Come with me.” He said in a rush as he could distantly hear his proteges cries. The ginger nodded absently but looked more like a husk as he followed. This snapped Kaldur out of his trained thoughts as he stood abruptly.

“I— would like to come, too!” He said, almost pleadingly. “I want to know what happened to my friend.

“No.” Batman said, still walking off, a hand on Wally’s back as he led them on faster.

“No?” The Atlantean scoffed.

“Well I don’t care what he says.” Artimus stood with a glare, seemingly pointed to nothing in particular. “I’m going to check on him.”

“Me too.” M’gann spoke from Conner’s chest. The feelings Robin was feeling leaked to her. The suffering of love and loss hit her like a roller coaster she wasn’t strapped into, the turns just daring her to fall out. Conner stood with her, still holding her as she didn’t seem metally stable to walk on her own. They all made the silent decision to go to see him. The closer they came to the bedrooms, the louder the screaming became. The wretch in their hearts slowed them until it came to a halt in front of a cracked open door with the sound of pure nightmarish shrieks. They looked amongst themselves before creaking the door open.

Robin was held tightly to Batman’s chest and sat in his lap on the bed as the man shushed him and pet his hair soothingly. Wally was sitting beside them, tears of his own running down his face.

“Tati, nu se vor opri. Vocile nu se vor opri!” (Daddy, they won't stop. The voices won't stop!) Robin sobbed into the man's chest, holding grips of his costume for his sanity.

“Richard, I need you to look at me.” The bat whispered to him quietly. Blue eyes looked up and the man wiped his tears with his thumb. “Wally is right here, by your side. Alive.” To prove it so, Wally grabbed one of the younger hands, the grip on Batman’s emblem coming undone to hold it tightly. “No one died tonight because you were able to tell the team on time.” Batman kissed the side of Dick’s head, rocking them slowly.

“Bruce… Mama and Papa… they…” Dick sniffled, silent tears trekking down his face, covering the dried paths.

“They’re gone.” Bruce said quickly. “They’ve been gone for years. You need to remember you still have a family.” He added quietly. “Barbra. Alfred. Me.”

“And you have me.” Wally’s voice broke as he joined with a small kiss to the boys knuckles that were white from his grip.

“They died because of me—” Dick sniffled, voice hitching in his throat.

“No no. They died so that you could live. I’m sure they’d be happy to die if it meant you stayed living in their memory.” Bruce corrected. Dick buried his face back into Bruce’s chest, Wally being pulled into the embrace as well. The others that stood at the door, unknown of what to do, left. The words spoken softly between the three all fresh in their memory, replaying like broken records. They all had trouble sleeping that night, quite possibly even more than Dick did. Though he had the comfort of Wally carefully spooning him and whispering sweet nothings while he drifted into restless oblivion. Needless to say, the team never saw Robin as a frail child again.

Pff

Jason and Bart's dynamic is literally just

"Someone will die."

"Of fun!"

That's it. That's all they are.

New JayBart oneshot posted!

If you think Tim wouldn’t use Bart’s eidetic memory to his advantage then you thought wrong

Tim: Bart, progress report.

Bart: *goes into a long and detailed spiel about the mission word for word how Tim wrote it looking bored the entire time*

Tim, in the middle of battle: I need the file on [insert villain name]

Bart: *recites the strengths and weaknesses off the top of his head like a pro*

Bart: I’m the little spoon!

Jason, wrapping an arm around him: I’m the knife.

Fic Prompt: Notebook (Romance)

Person (A) missed a class and asked to borrow person (B)s notes. Person (B) gives (A) their notebook and tells them to just give it back the next day. Person (A) opens it to study that night but notices how neat it all was and the little notes and doodles of random things along all the pages. After studying, (A) went through and just looked at the cute doodles and note-to-selfs. (A) didn't know (B) could draw, and finds it cute getting to know them through the drawings, finding by the end, (A) has a little crush.