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a most beloved scammer ❤️

Bart and the Batkids

Tim: Bart, you have to stop stealing my siblings.

Bart, leaning on Dick, legs over Jason's lap, getting his nails painted by Steph, getting his hair braided by babs, and showing cute animal pics to Damian: I have no idea what you mean.

inaccurate Batfam quotes #11

Tim: If I ever meet the first person who said "I'll sleep when I'm dead" I'm going to kill them.

Dick: Relax, Tim. Just drink your coffee.

Tim: This isn't even coffee. It's a 12 pack of Five hour energy mixed with cocoa powder...

Jason: An entire pack of 12 hour energy?

Tim: Does anyone else see the talking squirril?

Dick: uhhh, Tim? Squirrils don't talk.

Tim: Cool, just checking my sanity.

Shazam: [First time meeting the league] oh my god this is so cool!! Tell me everything! What are all of your powers?! I mean, I know Superman is like, indestructible and can fly, and Wonder Woman is super strong and invincible, and Aquaman can talk to fish-

Aquaman: That's not-

Shazam: -and Green Lantern can create stuff, and Flash is super fast, and Batman has super strength too-

Superman: Actually, Batman doesn't have powers.

Shazam:

Shazam: Yeah he does. He's a superhero.

Flash: Nope. He's just a regular dude in a bat costume.

Wonder Woman: He's very competent though.

Wonder Woman: [quietly] compared to certain other heroes at least

Green Lantern: [offended] Hey!

Shazam: But- But how does he fight bad guys?

Flash: He punches them with his human fists and then blows them up with expensive weaponry

Shazam: That's insane! How is he not DEAD?!

Green Lantern: That's what we keep asking ourselves

Shazam: But how does he get to the bad guys if he can’t fly and doesn't have super speed?

Aquaman: Well, sometimes he catches a ride with someone else

Shazam: ...are you telling me Batman piggy back rides into battle?

Green Lantern: [straight faced] It's the only way he rides.

Shazam: Wait, what about Robin? His side kick? He has powers right?

Superman: uh, no not really.

Shazam:

Green Lantern: Only one of the Gothamites have superpowers

Shazam: Wait, you let normal children fight villains?

Superman: WE don't.

Shazam: So you, a league of superheroes, can't stop ONE powerless human from letting kids fight mutant supermonsters?

The League:

Superman: Look, he's very convincing.

Aquaman: Incredibly persuasive

Green Lantern: There was a power point presentation involved

THE BOY EVER !!

Stimmy Speedster Sunday II!

People forget Bart is canonically a SK8R boi so here’s your reminder 💕✨

Jason and Bart tropes #4

Jason obviously has things he's ashamed of, even though he's this ass-kicking God we all love, he still has his demons. One of those demons being certain scars. Ever Hero, vigilante, and Villain has those certain scars that they don't want people to see or know of. For Jason, it's the ones from the Laz pit and when he died. He hates them, wishes he could get rid of them, but they're a part of him.

Bart has scars of his own, one's he wishes to never show. That being, all of them. He shows people his outter shell, this fun, party loving speedster that's always quick with a joke. In reality he hides most his pain behind that mask because no one expects the outgoing one to be the most damaged, but that's just what he is. Damaged. So damaged he fears peoples reactions to his real self and became his character "impulse". The scars from the future, from being enslaved and tortured, from fighting back and losing so much. He hardly looks at himself because of them. He may be quick to heal but the scars run deep.

Jason and Bart find a mutual understanding in not wanting to share the scars stories and be complacent in showing them, but not showing off. It's better that way.

inaccurate Batfam quotes #24

Headcannon that when Jason was still Robin and in teenage rebellion phases, Bruce bought him a studio with blank walls like canvases and let him do whatever. He'd buy Jason Spraypaints and supplies for his birthdays or just whenever he needed them. After Jason came back from the dead, the studio became his "HQ". Though he didn't like Batman, he had to admit that he did one good thing in his childhood.

God damnit, if this isn’t me I don’t know what is

John: i put Rosie to bed about hour ago, why are you still drinking imaginary tea?

Sherlock: we switched to imag-*UK*-imaginary whiskey.

Jim*grinning*: only it’s not imaginary.

John:…

Inaccurate FlashFam quotes #4

Bart in Reach: What if I became a superhero?

Bart: Jk jk...

Bart, also leading a revolt against the function: Unless?