FRUiTS Issue 16, 1998!

People underestimate how much it fucks you up to be subtly excluded as a kid. I would try to talk to my classmates and be met with disinterest or annoyance. The one friend I had, who I clung to and nodded along to his every word, had other friends he liked just as much or more. And his other friends didn’t care for me at all.

I look back at pictures from the time and see how separated I was from them. I remember knowing I was different. I remember posing questions about the world to the girls playing next to me and realizing that they had never asked the same ones to themselves. That the ways we thought couldn’t be more different.

I kept myself amused with my own fanatical stories and musings in my head. I would wander the playground on a circular path, imagining a friend and being sorely disappointed when it didn’t feel as real as I’d hoped.

There was a bubble separating me from everyone else, thin, and nearly invisible, but with a pearly sheen you could catch under the right conditions. I knew it was there, they knew it was there, and it changed me

if you aren't just a tiny bit in love with your friends then idk you might be doing something wrong

This!!! We would get yelled at just by mentioning a boy's name, what do you mean you're upset I'll never introduce a boyfriend to you????

parents: i want you all to get married and have families

also parents: sex is bad. dont talk about sex its inappropriate. in fact, dont even think about sex until youre married

me: *is ace*

bro: *is ace*

parents: how could this have happened

Probably what bothers me the most in media is how being 'just friends' is seen as something bad, something nobody wants. The classic downtrodden expression of 'we're just friends,' like it's a failure. Why is friendship seen as a step, not a final goal? Why can't we see deep friendships between people on TV and not have it portrayed as 'not enough'? There are so many types of love, man, and every single one of those is enough.

To those who have bad relationships with their mother, who feel lost, who feel ugly or not enough, who feel like making friends is the hardest thing ever:

I see you! And you deserve to be fully appreciated and loved.

Do not give up on yourself because you're here for you! This is your life, you matter and your happiness matters! Reaching for help isn't bothersome, it's beautiful and needed.

if you aren't just a tiny bit in love with your friends then idk you might be doing something wrong

Don’t go wasting your emotion Lay all your love on me

What coming out as aroace feels like