Funny Face (1957)

Alain de Botton // Jon Kabat-Zinn // unknown

Look! I know you’ve probably heard the whole “go outside, get some air” speech like a thousand times before. I’m not trying to sound like your mom telling you to go touch grass. What I’m saying is, this world is so much bigger than the walls you’ve built around yourself baby. It’s bigger than your bedroom, bigger than the little screen in your hand, and so much bigger than your fears.

Note to self: you are no less intellectual for not reading a book a week. You are tired. You deserve a break and it's okay if it's a long one 🖤

Mahmoud Darwish, from Unfortunately, It Was Paradise: Selected Poems; “The Hoopoe,”

I've Endured, Now What?

Blue Iris - Mary Oliver / So This Is All I Will Ever Be? - Fatima Aamer Bilal / Vive, Vive - Traci Brimhall

How do you fall back in love with life?

clean your room.  clean space, uncluttered space, space that doesn’t have miasma clinging to it can work wonders.  clean the dishes.  sweep.  take out the trash.  peel the clothes off the floor and wash them, and then actually fold/hang them.  take a long shower.  scrub behind your knees.  brush your teeth.  (this can be utterly exhausting, but try to get it done in a day, if you can.  the end result is worth it.)

pull out your notebook.  it doesn’t need to be a new notebook, but preferably one that you don’t usually write in, or that you haven’t touched in a while.  fuck moleskins.  the yellow legal pad will work fine.  sit in your room, or in the park, or in the library, and write a list.  count clouds.  describe all the colors that you see, and note patterns that arise.  sketch the cracks in the walls.  note the shape light makes when it enters a space.  talk about what the air tastes like, smells like.  what sounds are there?  even the white nose, break that down: air planes, fans, cicadas, anything.  remind yourself that you are sitting in the middle of a space brimming with detail.  remind yourself that you are not in nothingness and emptiness.  your world is fathomless.  it has potential.

drink cold water and try to eat something that isn’t processed.  it does not need to be fancy.  buy yourself an apple with the change between your couch cushions.  eat it outside.  if you’re someone who walks, walk somewhere afterwards, just to stretch your legs.  take your fucking meds.  remember that its a good thing that you are inside your body.  your body is a fantastic and endlessly intricate machine, and even though society has smacked a bunch of poisonous ideas on it, that doesn’t change its inherent worth and splendor.  take care of it.

read a novel.  underline your favorite lines, and write phrases that twist your heart inside your chest on the back of your hand with an ink pen.  read a novel like it’s poetry.  read poetry, something decadent but unpretentious.  watch a movie you haven’t seen before.  if there are free art galleries near you, walk through one.  take your time.  let yourself bask.  if there are patterns in what makes your soul ache, write those patterns down – marbles arches or soot crumbling bricks or dandelions or descriptions of dresses or whatever it is, write them down.

your chosen family is important.  remember, they picked you as much as you picked them.  the love has no obligation.  it is given freely and it is given from a place of compassion.  you are not a burden.  if you need to breathe, take a minute by yourself and just exist, but remember to go back to your people.  when they need you, listen and be gracious.  always be gracious.  the universe sometimes remembers things like that.

listen to new music.  link jump on youtube or related artist jump on spotify or ask the chap beside you in the cafe what their favorite band is, and listen to that.  listen to something that you don’t usually listen to.  we tend to tie up a lot of memory with music.  we are falling in love again.  the soundtrack needs to be specific to that.  

allow yourself to indulge in romantics.  press flowers in old books.  play movies with subtitles and mouth the words.  dance in your room.  wear something that makes you feel good, even if you wouldn’t wear it in public.  write your chosen family letters, even if you hand deliver them.  write poetry, even awful poetry.  revel in its awfulness.  eat dark chocolate and when your chosen family want to go out, try to go out with them sometimes, even if its just to the market.  

imagine, you’re in paris. la vie en rose is playing as you’re watching the rain pour from your window, looking at the eiffel tower, sipping on a glass of rosé, preferably with your love.

“It's taboo to admit that you're lonely. You can make jokes about it, of course. You can tell people that you spend most of your time with Netflix or that you haven't left the house today and you might not even go outside tomorrow. But rarely do you ever tell people about the true depths of your loneliness, about how you feel more and more alienated from your friends each passing day and you're not sure how to fix it. It seems like everyone is just better at living than you are. A part of you knew this was going to happen. Growing up, you just had this feeling that you wouldn't transition well to adult life, that you'd fall right through the cracks. And look at you now, it's happening.”

Doses of Glamour ⚜️

Networking and the Social Hierarchy

Some personal background on my upbringing, both my late grandfather and father were influential in the political and business sector. We’d host politicians, two of whom are presidents today actually, their business colleagues and we were constant fixtures at society events.

The importance of networking is one of the most valuable things both the men in my life taught me. They were constantly building and nurturing relationships, irrespective of the individuals place on the totem pole. My father never failed to mention that it was the biggest component to his success.

If you’re not making an effort to expand your network and climb the social ladder, I can only assume you have no desire to advance in your career or improve your dating prospects. The sooner you understand that everyone is trying to achieve some kind of upward or social mobility, is the moment you’ll no longer pedestalize individuals in a higher social class and move through the spaces that once intimidated you with ease.

Hierarchies are omnipresent in all societies weather you’re aware of this or not. The social hierarchy is defined as an implicit or explicit rank order of individuals or groups with respect to a valued social dimension. Social hierarchies are influenced by income, wealth, education and occupation.

Based on where you presently rank in the social hierarchy the strategies you’ll implore for your advancement into a higher social class and the circles you’ll target will differ. As you advance up the pyramid your strategies for further advancement will have to be reevaluated and adjusted.

With that being said, here are the key factors that will determine your upward mobility in today’s social hierarchy as well as

How to navigate the challenges that come along with these factors.

And how to achieve upward mobility through networking strategies.

Education:

I can’t emphasise enough how important it is that you get an education. If you have the opportunity to go to college weather it be an Ivy League or a community college please do so. If neither of those options are financially accessible to you, make use of free online courses, paid certifications and YouTube university. There are a lot of well paying job opportunities that don’t require a college degree (I’ll do a post on this if anyone is interested) What’s important is that you become an expert at something, find what you’re skilled at and master it. Focus on mastering your skills through internships and practical training programs as it will equip you with experience making your transition into the workforce easier.

On that note when you’re pursuing your education you must be networking by:

Connecting with professors, when they are well connected they could refer you for internship opportunities and write you recommendation letters.

Making contact with professionals in your desired industry for guidance and mentorship opportunities through LinkedIn

Attending networking events related to your desired industry, to build a network of industry professionals thus opening doors for career opportunities in the future.

Career:

Finding a well paying job at a entry level (entry level refers to 1-2 years of experience) can present as a challenge for many but it is not impossible. Here are two ways to combat this challenge

By mastering high paying hard and soft skills within your desired field. Hard skills are learned abilities acquired and enhanced through practice, repetition, and education. Hence why outside of your educational pursuits you should be acquiring these hard skills through online courses, training programs and internships as mentioned above. Soft skills include attributes and personality traits that help employees interact with others and succeed in the workplace. Showcasing and highlighting both hard and soft skills in your resume will help you stand out with recruiters. ( I’ll do a post on resumes if anyone is interested as I’ve got HR experience) So it’s imperative that you research hard and soft skills within your desired industry for long term success.

I will always reiterate that the key to succeeding at any goal isn’t to work hard but rather to work smart. The second way to land a well paying job at a entry level is by targeting emerging or growing industries with a low-medium entry barrier. Research these industries, the roles that are most in demand and the skills required for that role then pursue the role that aligns with your personal career goals.

A obvious example of such an industry is the tech industry, there are plenty of technical and non technical roles that pay an average of 60k and upwards from customer success,sales, operations and digital marketing ( side note, digital marketing skills are high in demand due to the technological age we live in). I am highlighting the tech industry because a lot of the opportunities in the tech industry are remote, meaning you have a shot at a well paying job regardless of what country you live in.

As a career woman you should be networking by:

Attending top industry events hosted by successful companies and industry professionals

Ensuring that you purchase the best tickets for these events as they normally grant you access to VIP lounges, granting you the opportunity to expand your network into the realm of managers, directors and executives.

Joining a master mind group in your industry, a master mind group being a peer-to-peer mentoring group used to help members solve their problems with input and advice from the other group members.

Joining organizations in your industry, as this will expand your network as well.

Conclusion:

We all have different starting posts, by no means does that imply that you will not be successful at the goals you’ve set for yourself. I am simply stating that your goals should be paced in terms of your present circumstances, so that you are fully equipped for the position you desire to hold in society. There are two other key factors in addition to the ones mentioned above that I will expand on in another post.

Signed

Doses of Glamour ⚜️